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R. Gatwood

@iwantanewhead

R. Gatwood (iwantanewhead.wordpress.com) is the emergent consciousness of a spectacularly inefficient library shelving system. Short fiction in 3:AM Magazine, Apex Magazine, and elsewhere.

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28.07.2023
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Latest posts by R. Gatwood @iwantanewhead

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The Man Who Could Tickle Himself By R. Gatwood There once was a man who worked hard not to let his left hand know what his right hand was doing, and vice versa. To pour milk over his cereal, he pivoted on his right leg, his left f…

New story in Bright Flash Literary Review.

04.10.2023 17:48 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Nanoism] Instantly he adds, "Forget I said that," and endures a moment of agonizing hope until she says,
"Okay."

[tweet from Nanoism] Instantly he adds, "Forget I said that," and endures a moment of agonizing hope until she says, "Okay."

#microfiction

29.12.2025 15:30 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A writer friend called this story "great writing and also bonkers." Feel like it might appeal to folks who've soured on Wallace or never understood his popularity?

01.02.2026 16:03 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Today is the 30th anniversary of Infinite Jest. Have a David Foster Wallace thing.

#DavidFosterWallace #InfiniteJest #GoodOldNeon #footnotes

01.02.2026 16:02 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Praeludium and Allegro in the Style of Daniel W. Foster – 3:AM Magazine My whole life I’ve been a fraud. I have come to accept this with the help of writer Daniel W. Foster and violinist Friedrich β€œFritz” Kreisler, the latter of whom (in 1905, hoping to draw attention to ...

David Foster Wallace fans (and perhaps foes)! In anticipation of the 30th anniversary of Infinite Jest, why not give this story a read?

www.3ammagazine.com/3am/praeludi...

29.01.2026 16:00 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

A writer friend called this story "great writing and also bonkers." Feel like it might appeal to folks who've soured on Wallace or never understood his popularity?

01.02.2026 16:03 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
class. This lack of credentials didn't give him any qualms, he warned us and we soon learned frsthand, about imposing his exacting standards of writing on the students who had fallen into his care. He had strong opinions on syntax, grammar, and sentence- and paragraph- and scene-level flow; also, of course, on breathless polysyndeton,
fragmentation and nonlinearity as achieved by footnotes and endnotes and parenthetical asides, and strategically deployed erudition; et a whole lot of cetera. My attempts to mimic Dan's favillating 141 prose
earned me furious green strikethroughs and once, in the margin, "Knock it off?" Another time:
"Stop being CLEVER!" -something he must have told himself when he was fighting his own outsized brain.
[15]

class. This lack of credentials didn't give him any qualms, he warned us and we soon learned frsthand, about imposing his exacting standards of writing on the students who had fallen into his care. He had strong opinions on syntax, grammar, and sentence- and paragraph- and scene-level flow; also, of course, on breathless polysyndeton, fragmentation and nonlinearity as achieved by footnotes and endnotes and parenthetical asides, and strategically deployed erudition; et a whole lot of cetera. My attempts to mimic Dan's favillating 141 prose earned me furious green strikethroughs and once, in the margin, "Knock it off?" Another time: "Stop being CLEVER!" -something he must have told himself when he was fighting his own outsized brain. [15]

From "Praeludium and Allegro in the Style of Daniel W. Foster": www.3ammagazine.com/3am/praeludi...

30.05.2025 15:47 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

Today is the 30th anniversary of Infinite Jest. Have a David Foster Wallace thing.

#DavidFosterWallace #InfiniteJest #GoodOldNeon #footnotes

01.02.2026 16:02 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Praeludium and Allegro in the Style of Daniel W. Foster – 3:AM Magazine My whole life I’ve been a fraud. I have come to accept this with the help of writer Daniel W. Foster and violinist Friedrich β€œFritz” Kreisler, the latter of whom (in 1905, hoping to draw attention to ...

David Foster Wallace fans (and perhaps foes)! In anticipation of the 30th anniversary of Infinite Jest, why not give this story a read?

www.3ammagazine.com/3am/praeludi...

29.01.2026 16:00 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Seven by Twenty] Smooth, perfect snow. Urge to piss. // @iwantanewhead

[tweet from Seven by Twenty] Smooth, perfect snow. Urge to piss. // @iwantanewhead

#microfiction #snow

04.01.2026 13:55 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Seven by Twenty] Smooth, perfect snow. Urge to piss. // @iwantanewhead

[tweet from Seven by Twenty] Smooth, perfect snow. Urge to piss. // @iwantanewhead

#microfiction #snow

04.01.2026 13:55 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Nanoism] Instantly he adds, "Forget I said that," and endures a moment of agonizing hope until she says,
"Okay."

[tweet from Nanoism] Instantly he adds, "Forget I said that," and endures a moment of agonizing hope until she says, "Okay."

#microfiction

29.12.2025 15:30 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[Tweet from the Drabblecast] He feels no urge to howl, only to dither and doubt and qualify everything he says. Oh the horror: he's an as-it-were wolf. #twabble

[Tweet from the Drabblecast] He feels no urge to howl, only to dither and doubt and qualify everything he says. Oh the horror: he's an as-it-were wolf. #twabble

14.10.2023 18:33 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Nanoism]

I never miss her. But sometimes I miss the man she thought I was.

[tweet from Nanoism] I never miss her. But sometimes I miss the man she thought I was.

#microfiction #nanofiction #vss

03.03.2025 17:32 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
CRAFT Novelette Print Prize 2025 - CRAFT CRAFT 2025 Novelette Print Prize January 15, 2025 – March 16, 2025 Awarding $3,000 + Print Publication Thank you to all the writers who sent work to our 2025 Novelette Print Prize, guest judged by ’Pe...

Made the CRAFT 2025 Novelette Print Prize longlist.

www.craftliterary.com/craft-novele...

12.12.2025 15:40 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Praeludium and Allegro in the Style of Daniel W. Foster – 3:AM Magazine My whole life I’ve been a fraud. I have come to accept this with the help of writer Daniel W. Foster and violinist Friedrich β€œFritz” Kreisler, the latter of whom (in 1905, hoping to draw attention to ...

"Praeludium and Allegro in the Style of Daniel W. Foster," in 3:AM Magazine. My David Foster Wallace story, replete with footnotes.

www.3ammagazine.com/3am/praeludi...

12.12.2025 15:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

End-of-year wrap-up thread. Two stories published, a few mentions of note.

12.12.2025 15:35 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet by R. Gatwood] I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus so I blackmailed them for more presents.


#vss

[tweet by R. Gatwood] I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus so I blackmailed them for more presents. #vss

01.12.2024 18:29 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Nanoism] Christmas Eve was the night Santa didn't come. I mean, he didn't come every night, but Christmas Eve was the night it mattered.

[tweet from Nanoism] Christmas Eve was the night Santa didn't come. I mean, he didn't come every night, but Christmas Eve was the night it mattered.

To those who celebrate, hope your Christmases are merrier than the ones in this microfiction.

24.12.2025 14:32 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
[tweet from Nanoism] Christmas Eve was the night Santa didn't come. I mean, he didn't come every night, but Christmas Eve was the night it mattered.

[tweet from Nanoism] Christmas Eve was the night Santa didn't come. I mean, he didn't come every night, but Christmas Eve was the night it mattered.

To those who celebrate, hope your Christmases are merrier than the ones in this microfiction.

24.12.2025 14:32 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

That's all the news for 2025.

12.12.2025 15:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

On a sadder note, the lovely magazine Coffin Bell folded before it could publish another story of mine.

bsky.app/profile/coff...

12.12.2025 15:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Stories that have Podcasts We didn’t make podcasts of all our stories, but between hosts Mike Ward and Matt Gomez, we did a lot. Here are stories with podcasts. If you like to read along with the podcast, use this link…

Also listed here, because it was recorded by Matt Gomez (excellently, I might add).

magazine.metaphorosis.com/editorial/st...

12.12.2025 15:46 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Stories that are Romantic Love – hard to find, easy to lose, possibly the oldest story trope in the book, and one that’s always fresh and intriguing. Here are stories that, in one way or another, are about roman…

And a story about murdering your boyfriend in this one.

magazine.metaphorosis.com/editorial/st...

12.12.2025 15:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Stories by Vegans and Vegetarians Just as with any population, a substantial (and growing) number of our authors are vegans or vegetarians. Below is a selection of stories by those authors. β€œAdaptations to Coastal Erosion” β€” B. Mor…

The story "Heart Moon" got mentioned in a few Metaphorosis lists. Great to see a ritual cannibalism story in this one!

magazine.metaphorosis.com/editorial/st...

12.12.2025 15:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
issue two - "the truth is, i want to want to live thank you, thank you, thank you. i'm so excited for you to see this.

"Ever the Collector," in Periwinkle Pelican. A microfiction.

theperipelican.wixsite.com/my-site-1/po...

12.12.2025 15:39 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

@mooninabucket.bsky.social

12.12.2025 15:58 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

That's all the news for 2025.

12.12.2025 15:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

On a sadder note, the lovely magazine Coffin Bell folded before it could publish another story of mine.

bsky.app/profile/coff...

12.12.2025 15:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Stories that have Podcasts We didn’t make podcasts of all our stories, but between hosts Mike Ward and Matt Gomez, we did a lot. Here are stories with podcasts. If you like to read along with the podcast, use this link…

Also listed here, because it was recorded by Matt Gomez (excellently, I might add).

magazine.metaphorosis.com/editorial/st...

12.12.2025 15:46 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0