Chris A

Bulbasaur in the Criterion Closet

LETS GOOOOOOOO

I never feel more like a responsible adult than when I’m eating an apple

Cauliflower: the perfect vegetable, immaculate florets with a creamy texture, subtle but unmistakable flavor that emphasizes any savory sauce.

Broccoli: the middle child vegetable, relentlessly woody flavor, chunky florets, their slick trunk resisting all sauce.

we're getting all the downsides of cyberpunk (social alienation, ruthless hyper capitalism, digital mass surveillance state) but none of the promised upsides (cheap street food, cool jackets, super drugs that make you really fast and strong before they kill you)

it’s me 🫡

collapse the dollar? But that’s what i have!

we’ve got you by the collar and our fist is cocked and we’re going to punch you in the face repeatedly and the worst thing you could do is try to get out of it

people who complain about bob dylans voice were given ears yes but what’s the point

it’s crazy that the Heimlich maneuver has only been around since 1974 and everyone before that just stood there like a Sims panicking at the person choking to death

‘PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 8’ will release on May 21, 2027 in theaters.

Produced by James Wan.

Uhhhhh ohhhhhhh

I’m starting a new conspiracy theory that everything in the foreground is real but everything in the background is green screen but about everything

pole to pole with will smith

Charlie Kirk at a Turning Point USA event. The caption says "THERE IS ONLY ONE HOUR OF OCYGEN LEFT ON THE TITAN SUBMERSIBLE." An inset picture shows Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars

been staring at this image on and off all day

Disney is going to to be very nervous about this in four months

ABC : Always. Be. Coughing.

well, he’s right!!

hate to see it

The problem with Dave Franco is he looks and sounds exactly like James Franco

look at this cool photo of magneto I found

with everything going on I really felt like I needed a relaxing movie night for me and my wife so I put on uncut gems

they’ll go back to starting HVAC businesses and getting 2 star reviews in no time

i’m creating a new conspiracy theory that the reason that there’s so much film discourse with people not understanding what they watch is because there’s two versions of every film and they show different theaters a different version at random

I’m one upping this by having the robot voice read the plot section of movie Wikipedia at 10x speed

this guy with a huge forehead sat across from me at the coffee shop and kept asking if I liked his forehead I didn’t know what to say and I tried to leave but he talks fast and good like he can sell shoes to a centipede and I had to run 😭

MULTIPLE?

Barry Lyndon shit

i think i’m fully in on “the white house is run by thirtysomething chuds who think grand strategy games are real life”