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parkerActual

@parkeractual

Husband, father, home improvement enthusiast, Trekkie, Go Bills

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11.11.2024
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Latest posts by parkerActual @parkeractual

Every year some team in the NFL wins way more games than their roster should let them and they get bounced in the first round of the playoffs. Usually it’s the Vikings.

Oh hi New England, how’s it going?

14.12.2025 23:46 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Spender Brown is Josh Allen’s spike specialist

16.11.2025 20:47 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

@hankgreen.bsky.social hey Hank loved the show on what species replaces us when we check out. What about elephants? Huge brains, prehensile trunks - existing death rituals seem like a good start to culture. Assuming they make it out of the century, do they seem like a good candidate?

27.08.2025 18:33 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The sheer unmitigated affordability of it is the most shocking part.

21.06.2025 20:54 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

That song slaps

15.05.2025 16:19 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I think I’m gonna retire from watching football when Josh Allen retires from playing football. Am I gonna sign up for another 15 seasons of EP Fitzbromwards? No thanks.

05.05.2025 21:32 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I am as unsettled by that movie 30 years later as I ever have been.

01.05.2025 14:34 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Hey QQ I don’t know much about investments. I just googled “premarket trading” and the sad trombone from The Price Is Right played. Is that bad?

04.04.2025 11:39 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I enjoy amusing myself with the thought that a junior Lexus ad exec shot up in bed one night when he realized that “ December” and “Remember” rhyme.

17.02.2025 18:10 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

They did a live action Up, huh?

13.02.2025 14:26 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Because they won so much this might get over looked, but 13 conference championship appearances in 18 years is bananas.

10.02.2025 14:28 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Super Bowl Sunday? You mean Home Improvement Project Sunday? Great day to install baseboards!

09.02.2025 16:20 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Man that walk of shame to the lab tech is something else tho. Everyone knows it aint your lunch that’s in that bag you’re brown paper bag you’re carrying.

24.01.2025 17:15 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Post image

Moon:

13.01.2025 15:15 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I did not expect the frunk to be so incredibly useful.

05.01.2025 01:52 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I wanted an electric truck. I got a f150 lightning. I saved tens of thousands over cybertruck and got to keep my dignity.

04.01.2025 12:55 👍 21 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
Post image
01.01.2025 20:07 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Fresh Oil and Chips sounds like one of the questions from a Subway employee while they’re making your sandwich.

01.01.2025 16:41 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

When it comes to potentially apocalyptic paradigm shifts I feel like five years is most definitely “on the cusp”, but what do I know.

24.12.2024 19:37 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Rule of Acquisition 50: Go ahead switch the style up, and if they hate then let em hate and watch the money pile up.

24.12.2024 17:33 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

my man has a knife, a handgun, and half a loaf of kung fu. just to go to walmart.

18.12.2024 18:22 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
two men are standing next to each other and one is wearing a backpack that says ' ghostbusters ' on it ALT: two men are standing next to each other and one is wearing a backpack that says ' ghostbusters ' on it
17.12.2024 11:35 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Worked at Blockbuster during this time and can confirm that we too watched this movie on loop.

06.12.2024 22:36 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
LimeWire Wrapped

1. sistem_of_a_dowm_Zelda_song.flac
2. Nirvana - Glycerine.flv
3. track_8_(1)_(1)c.mp3
4. weird_al_Bert_and_Big_Bird_smoking_weed_FUNNY(parody).wav
5. jay-z_the-blueprint_FULL ALBUM_REAL.mp3.exe

LimeWire Wrapped 1. sistem_of_a_dowm_Zelda_song.flac 2. Nirvana - Glycerine.flv 3. track_8_(1)_(1)c.mp3 4. weird_al_Bert_and_Big_Bird_smoking_weed_FUNNY(parody).wav 5. jay-z_the-blueprint_FULL ALBUM_REAL.mp3.exe

finally finished downloading my limewire wrapped after 20 years

04.12.2024 21:11 👍 25915 🔁 4901 💬 369 📌 284

It shows how messed up his priorities are.

No one can smell your vaporizer at 6am bro, cmon! I feel like a SecDef should know this. Smh.

04.12.2024 13:37 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Koopa Shell quality has really fallen off since COVID.

03.12.2024 19:46 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

My lifetime of video game experience suggests if you throw that it will travel in one direction, knock over anyone it comes in contact with, and then fall outside the boundaries of the universe once it hits a wall.

YMMV tho.

03.12.2024 17:02 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Rule of Acquisition #91: Your boss is only worth what he pays you.

03.12.2024 13:47 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I didn’t leave because I don’t like Elon. I left because I don’t like Nazis sympathizers. It’s not my fault people conflate the two.

01.12.2024 18:46 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

This is the most confused desire I’ve ever felt

29.11.2024 03:32 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0