Brooke Breit

I still have the suspicious bottle from El Paso, Elsewhere ❤️

Y’all I just found out that a grocery store in my neighborhood turned into a nightclub both nights this weekend

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP

Strip Law is so damn funny. The bits hit HARD

I would also like to inject the opening theme song into mah veins thank you

I LOOOOVE DREDGE

Don’t worry, I found something to hold your Crabernet

Never

APPARENTLY

Many years ago, my partner and I found out that all of our neighbors were trying to figure out why we had such odd hours, often coming home late in the night

They were disappointed to find out we were improv comedians and NOT DOCTORS (they thought we were doctors lol)

I both love and hate that my smoke alarm just said hi to me after I changed its batteries

somewhere there’s an improv group adding BILLIE EILISH BOOMERANG IDOL to their complicated zip zap zop warm up

That’s so cool!

One day, the sons will inherit the mumford

It really was worth it

Finally got to Del Sur (Filipino meets Midwestern bakery in Chicago) early enough to beat the lines and omg

Note: plz leave my murder at the door

he jiggle

Happy Valentimes! Brought to you by Members Only jackets and Psyduck mango puddings

How did I not realize that Joan of Arc in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure is Jane Wiedlin from The Go-Gos?

Candy hearts that say page me

Looking up the expiration date of these candy hearts on my pager

Exactly this! I remember this and it was the best

I want a TedTalk about the Bob’s Burgers team’s approach to pun creation/exploration. Please tell me in detail about the process because, in my head, it feels like a mix of curated lists and random “is this a thing” moments and I want the cursed list of puns that never worked and all of it thanks

Oh mylanta

Truly, my mouth open the entire time

Finally finished watching The Traitors UK Season 2 and OH MY DAYS WHAT A RIDE

Cannot recommend it enough. What a damn season

I’m certain someone has already thought of this, but I wanna host a Traitors brunch. You need:
- long table facing the front door
-staggered times for guests (loud knocking required)
-big reactions when someone new arrived
-not enough salmon

It’s my favorite show to watch while exclaiming “wowzer, what an industry!” And also I’m completely stressed out the entire time. Love it

Found a recipe for marry me beans but it’s a real commitment

Terrifying liminal space circle run: the movie ™️

Oh my god incredible