Singers

Just saw a video of David Lynch stuffing a woman’s freshly worn panties in his mouth I think I’m gonna be sick

Got so high I had a dream I went to see Birth starring Nicole Kidman, with Nicole Kidman, and they didn’t show us the movie but a meta student film YouTube poop version of the movie and everyone rioted

I need a probiotic, does anyone have any good recommendations

Hand squeezed an orange juice today

I wish my job could be being Maggie Gyllenhal’s person who tells her The Bride is kind of good a few times every hour.

It’s a Laura Brannigan “Gloria” kinda day

Working on a “playlist” might even fuck around and put it on a mix cd

Did I just see a TOMS SHOES AD on the train?! The dream of the 00s is alive and well.

Amazon should sell guns too

Read u wrote u

That’s crazy but whateverrrr

Wait so tonight the clock goes from 1:59:59 to 3:00:00??

Pink Panthress is 57 years old?

Not blue, not interested. Fuck off with this one Yves

She wegovy on my manjauro til I ozempic

by the time you realize what you had with me i'll be boiling hotdogs for someone else

im so old and broken now i want to JUST DIE

what do you mean it's been almost 10 years since i saw call me by your name on opening weekend with every gay guy in brooklyn

Going to a hibachi birthday dinner next week and I can’t stop thinking about getting little fried shrimps flicked into my mouth

Wait a minute I don’t remember them being naked

Universal healthcare

Watching tv and apparently the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has been demoted to doing Kohls commercials

Please come to my new fusion restaurant where we make pizza with a South Asian twist. It is called IndiaNapoli’s

Ok so it turns out that visceral reaction was actually bad streetmeat

Usher voice:

I’m gonna THROW UP on this BUS

I’m about to throw up on this bus