well-behaved omegas rarely make history

OMG this is so nice… i’m honored

does "snows out toes out" mean nothing to you...

yes 😭

i would definitely be a lot more comfortable if i could get another job... but i'll live off rice and beans before i do that idgaf

applied for a job and they sent me an AI interview link so i'm just ghosting #whatever

💪 WOOHOO!!!!

fujos are so poetic

ugh whatever i'll say it. it's emeto

and i will be going to mines every weekend TRUST!

indonesia for 2 months this summer 😁 yippee!

I GOT IT 😃

have never been particularly into [redacted] in fic, but i've started writing something where it features heavily and now i'm like ohhhh okay. so basically this is the best thing ever.

everyone kept commenting on my shoes today and one of my coworkers gave me the best compliment ever regarding them: “they remind me of pickles”

being extremely particular about lube basically ruins sex forever. but some of us just can't help it...

LOL I KNOW. a great easter egg for the attentive reader

literally opened the email and said aloud to myself "huh. i wonder what the attachment says."

I LAUGHED

this is so interesting... i feel like most boba drinks are made really sweet and strong in order to be drunk when watered down... i really don't like ice but i think it throws the ratios of everything off if you mess with perfection

screenshot of email with heading "Cornell decision," the body of which reads "See attached for letter from Director......" and features one attachment, titled "Rejection letter 2026.docx"

obsessed with the way they sent this

山海 YouTube video by No Party for Cao Dong - Topic

🚬

i'm on record as saying that falafel is often kind of bland and mid but guess what. even the worst falafel in the world can't possibly be more bland or more mid than ground beef

falafel burger is like the most goated concept ever

“i’m sorry women” hat

also hat in honor of IWD

me on my hands and knees snuffling around for violets in the cemetery

went for a walk in the cemetery and there are violets everywhere so i’ve been crawling around sniffing them like a truffle hunting dog

to lose one gender might be regarded as misfortune, to lose two looks like carelessness etc etc

"I'm not toxic, I'm classy so I'm toxique."

bringing back this classic mix-tweet in honor of only friends s2

too of wall with a ton of postcards, small posters, trinkets etc arranged in a rainbow-type order

moving this week so goodbye postcards wall ❤️ i’ve loved you immensely

photo of me with road bike

cop of the century actually

me!!

i try to bring only the silliest and most absurd stories to my devoted internet following (lol)