Ever since they imprisoned me in the eternal chamber, I've realized that what I used to love most about life was not being confined to a chamber for all of time. That said, I do now quite enjoy the daily minute of total focus I'm allowed by my keepers
Please consider purchasing a One-Minute Total Focus branded minute timer
My name's Gargantuan Miller, inventor of the One-Minute Total Focus method. Thanks to the OMTF program, millions of people are now enjoying one minute of total focus every day - and so can you. Why wait? Your minute of total focus can start right now
Customer,
This email is regarding your database, which doesn't currently meet the ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐บ๐๐บ ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐พ๐๐ถ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐.
To address this, you can add rows with simple strings like "TRUTH", "LOVE", or "EQUANIMITY".
Failure to comply by the listed date will result in ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ถ๐บ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ฎ๐บ๐ถ๐น๐.
Lately I've seen notes outside the maintenance closet complaining about the odor in the stairwell. That stink was decided by management months ago and cannot be changed. Actually, that's a lie; the stink comes from the rats nesting there, which I will not remove due to our bond of mammalian kinship
What up, name's Gregory Culpable... but on the streets they call me Allergen. Here in the studio working on my fat new album Christmas with Granddad. In school I learned the elements, but now I smoke tremor and slurp crude, I move different, I slither different, I made up a new one called Lithuanium
As one of eight real wizards in Mensa, I can say it's actually very rare for intelligent wizards to wield staves (that is the plural of "staff"). The high-IQ wizard almost always prefers a wand for the convenient form factor. Also we've deduced among ourselves that a stable, happy childhood is in no way a prerequisite for cognitive/magical ability, and may in fact harm your chances of joining our ranks.
It's important not to get all your daily caffeine from the same source. If I'm coffee in the morning, I'm tea in the afternoon. If I'm tea in the morning, the tannins make me nauseous, so no afternoon coffee for me. And this is the way of things
My mentor is the sort of man who dreams about hallways. The sort of man who wears barefoot shoes. The sort of man who lives in a cave, eats chicken off the bone, who yearns to paint a landscape. My mentor is the sort of man who kills
Can't say I care much for that to be honest. Or anything else
(pulling you aside at a party) Hey, I know it feels like you have to say all that funny stuff, but you don't. You don't need to be such a joy at this party. No one's making you. You don't have to be so gracious with others or treat them with such humble dignity, seriously
Your Honor, as much as I would love to "do it normal this time", I believe the medium of dance is vital to my defense
"Chrome will relaunch in 56 minutes" Thank you for telling me that, but beings like me operate on the scale of millennia, so please don't take offense if I seem unmoved by your small affairs
My favorite thing about a book is when it "doesn't overstay its welcome". This is because of my overall hostility towards books
In the warehouse, I found out the tasks I take to most naturally are what the others call "monkey work". Someone will often shout "Monkey work!" and I'll rush over to be of some help. This is all fine, except I've heard them call this "scurrying", which does not square with my professional ethos
As one of two keepers of our order's gravest secret, it's my job to choose a successor if my counterpart reaches his end. As a believer in rebirth of the soul, I will select whoever I believe to be his next personage. Finally, as a proponent of experiential learning, I will turn my sword on myself
Any time Bill
Before the rest of the diving team descend, I like to go down and rearrange the fish. I think the fish are very convincing when arranged this way, and quite pleasing to the eye. I'm hoping this will stir a love of nature in my colleagues, who often lambast me for having a tender heart
Has anyone seen the Beast of Murmurs lately? I already asked the Beast of Whispers, but I could barely hear them over that accursed Beast of Screams
Makes sense, I've been told similar things before
Not sure, all the theories I've heard have been quite believable
What do you get the guy who has everything...?
๐๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฑ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐
๐
๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐
๐น๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ โ
๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐บ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐
Every day I wake up and eat the flesh of the Fruit That Causes Harm. They always asked me why I ate of it, but I never knew why. After years of therapy and self-examination, I can finally say I eat of the harming fruit because it's so yummy to me it's delicious and it tastes soo good and yummy
Telling my therapist I've been feeling Grinse lately so they think I'm not like their other clients
Wonderful! It's always encouraging to hear about others practicing virtuous conduct (๐ด๐ช๐ญ๐ข)
If I were an optician, I would NOT shoot a jet of air into your eye. I would find a nonviolent (๐ข๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ๐ด๐ข) way to perform the tests
In RealmWorld you can build a yacht-size vessel only to find out you need a woodsailing level of 500 to pilot it
My favorite MMO is RealmWorld. It has over a hundred different skills to develop, like woodcutting, woodcarving, woodshaving, woodthrowing, woodgreasing, woodburning, woodseeking, woodmeeting, wooddating, woodwedding, woodleaving, woodmissing, woodcrying, woodgrieving
Note: A previous version of this article referred to the subject in a disparaging tone. The author has since developed loving-kindness for all sentient beings and revised the article accordingly.
