The result of these attempts, I got told I should be ashamed for making them look like bad parents, that their son committing suicide would make them look bad to the community. No support, no comforting or finding a way to help, just being chastised because I couldn't take it anymore.
I started having suicidal thoughts before I was a teenager, I wanted to escape. Those thoughts became a coping mechanism that eventually led me to attempt twice before I was 18.
Even saying no to a request terrifies me, the thought of disappointing others puts my anxiety into overdrive. That since I'm not useful to them I'll be set aside like a tool that has outlived its usefulness.
The trauma from being raised in an abusive household has followed me like a shadow my entire adult life.
It's difficult for me to connect with and trust others. I'm afraid to disagree with friends on even the most mundane topics out of fear that because I have my own opinion, I'll be cast out.
I need to pick up some Soju next time I'm out.
and with that, Canto IX is done. Such a good story arc.
residence: fifth floor - recovery
2.28.2026.8pm-est
<t:1772326800:F>
rise from the rot, spread your wings
fight another day
curated by:
@strafe.ing @raymanonpc.art
@vbm.one @fbsbfbfhdb.bsky.social
cherub.5909
come home
I wish my brain wasn't my worst enemy.
Glad to hear your recovery is going well ^_^
Every morning I wake up and look at my news feed hoping a certain event happens and am disappointed every time.
Tyrian, that game was the gateway to loving the top-down/side-scrolling shoot-em up games like Raiden and Gradius.
Working my way towards that, just finished 8. Peak cinema, it started off a bit slow but from the dungeon until the end was sooo good.
Wish there was a way to fight a specific boss pre-nerf. Friend of mine was telling me about it after I beat that encounter.
A major update is in the works for Ruins of the Eclipse, and it will be arriving very soon.
#VRChat #VRChat_worldη΄Ήδ» #HexalabImmersive
Ruined my sleep schedule doing the Canto 8 dungeon in Limbus Company.
Worth it.
Actually teared up at the post-boss cutscene.
Seek a tax professional, I've seen a lot of streamers get hit by the IRS for back-taxes and penalties because of improperly filed taxes on their twitch income.
ATTENTION
Incoming Experimental Signal
Establishing CONNECTION
Friday FEB 13 @ 2200 EST
@sirrosevr.bsky.social
@dubsu.me
@shashasha.love
@strasz.bsky.social
Yup, still there, what a throwback.
core memory unlocked
i wonder if i can remember my old login info
Apparently Faust and Hong Lu's tremor units are so outdated, it's better to just use their Heishou & Lord rupture units with the tremor EGOs instead.
:3
That looks so good!
The time honored tradition of hating Adobe for their asinine decisions continues.
Happy Coin Boi! ππ°
On the other side of the coin though, lots of times I just need a break from everything. To just decompress and recharge, get my mindset back where it needs to be.
As an introvert, it's easy for me to get socially overwhelmed.
I love hanging out with friends in xiv and vrchat, and going to music events in the latter helps me push my boundaries, whether it be mingling with others or just vibin to the groove.
We live in a time where we have handheld devices that we carry with us at all times, anyone we know can reach us at a moments notice, via text, discord, teams (ick), and who knows now many other apps I could list.
Oh, suppose I should say this isn't calling out anyone in particular.
It's something I've thought about for a bit now, about the expectation of constant availability.
People really need to know this.
Just because someone hasn't responded to you in discord within a few hours doesn't mean they are upset at you.
I HAVE IDEAS
