The Singularity is upon us: Apple's AI summarized a text message that read "I'm still down to clown if you are" to.... "clown event still possible."
The Singularity is upon us: Apple's AI summarized a text message that read "I'm still down to clown if you are" to.... "clown event still possible."
Text saying "You've read your last free article."
Jacked action hero with goon in headlock, in raspy yet firm voice:
Markwayne is actually a noble title, and is the Oklahoma equivalent to "Marquis," and may be passed on at the same time your father gives you his car dealership
Rest now, Kristi. We have the watch. I'll see you at CPAC Tallahassee
Email from Chick Fil a. The subject is "One final cup. One classic meal."
Why does this email from Chick Fil A make it sound like I'm about to die
(wizard open mic) don’t ya hate it when your homunculus becomes ensouled? (audience murmuring derisively) sooo much paperwork (cough. couple hisses. squinting past the stage lights) ah i see we have a few clay friends in the audience tonight, that’s awesome
Kash Patel is going to make history as the first FBI director to get medically evacuated from Burning Man
I'll put a twist on this: I love the opening dance scene in CLIMAX, and have watched it multiple times, but I wouldn't watch any other part of that movie again.
In Unfollowing Daniel Radosh, NYT Accounts Lament Lost Decorum
we're hiring an associate editor to help build out our grooming coverage at GQ! if you're interested in all things men's hair + body + face (and you got that gaga reference) email me your resume condenast.wd5.myworkdayjobs.com/en-US/CondeC...
(lips pressed incomprehensibly close to the microphone) Bunghazi
For more singing toilets tune into the Turning Point USA halftime show
Whatever you think of the Washington Post at this moment, here's a chance to support the dedicated, hard-working journalists who were just laid off. If you have the means, your donation is most welcome. If you don't, a kind thought and maybe spreading the word to others is support enough 💙
He looks like Peter Griffin in "Death of a Salesman"
a poster for Hey Arnold, but it says "Maye-Darnold," the two quarterbacks in the upcoming Super Bowl
whenever i see the quarterback matchup for the super bowl this is all i can think of. sorry.
“I am working hard on my posts”
Statement from Michael and Susan Pretti Parents of Alex Jeffrey Pretti “We are heartbroken but also very angry. Alex was a kindhearted soul who cared deeply for his family and friends and also the American veterans whom he cared for as an ICU nurse at the Minneapolis VA hospital. Alex wanted to make a difference in this world. Unfortunately, he will not be with us to see his impact. I do not throw around the ‘hero’ term lightly. However, his last thought and act was to protect a woman. The sickening lies told about our son by the administration are reprehensible and disgusting. Alex is clearly not holding a gun when attacked by Trump’s murdering and cowardly ICE thugs. He had his phone in his right hand and his empty left hand is raised above his head while trying to protect the woman ICE just pushed down, all while being pepper sprayed. Please get the truth out about our son. He was a good man. Thank you.
Kare 11 local news just read, in full, this statement from Michael and Susan Pretti, the parents of Alex Pretti.
"Please get the truth out about our son."
They wrote an article about your posts
Washington Post email. Subject: 25 ways travel has changed Plus: Trump threatens to invoke insurrection Act
Screencap from Simpsons. Kent Brock man reporting the news: “Oh, and the president was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night.”
every NYT headline is like…They expected pee: poo greeted them instead
Yes. It was actually at a family-friendly event at the bar so they had hula hoops/face painting/etc. and this guy was wearing Trump sneakers.
I mean I could because it was Long Island, but still.
Man wearing Trump gold sneakers
Saw a guy wearing them at a bar on Long Island a few months ago. I couldn’t believe it
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
Hey hey
Ho Ho
“Hey hey ho ho”
Has got to go
ME: (first day practicing Bug Law) May it please the Court—
BUG JUDGE: (sternly) Bug Court.
Oh man how could I forget this one
truly one of the geniuses of posting
One of the best to ever do it