😂

Until today I don’t realize Logan and Jake Paul were two different people.

I picked the right time to become a Beard fan.

It’s not true, but it’s a nice thought

I don’t need a winning personality, I have a beard.

That music they play when Popeye eats his spinach? I hear that when I drink my first coffee.

Alas, my pornographic parody of “Boogie Nights” couldn’t overcome its third act problems.

New idea for a show “Americas funniest unsolved mysteries “

My brain only solves creative problems late and after I’ve crawled into bed.

Ever wonder what it looks like to film a game from the batter's eye?

The views are incredible! 🤩

2022 Topps Chrome Gilded Rookie Card Seiya Suzuki, Chicago Cubs (132/199)

Seiya Suzuki's bat has been golden lately, so we have a @Topps Gilded Rookie card to give away!

Repost and reply for a chance to win.

*STAY CALM. ACT NORMAL. NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL YOURE LISTENING TO SMASHMOUTH WHILE YOURE DRIVING*

Maybe the real rapture was the friends we made along the way.

Anthony Rizzo, Cindy Crawford, and Eddie Vedder are in the Wrigley Field bleachers on Rizzo's retirement day... and Vedder drops an F-bomb on the Marquee Sports Network Cubs broadcast. ⚾️🍺🤬📺🎙️ #MLB

Whispering into the wind by posting here, but I think I figured out how to check something off my bucket list

Saw Superman. I don’t really dig superhero movies but I dug it.

www.instagram.com/p/DLL61_ltVo... Despite hitting 100 today some in South Omaha don’t feel ICE is the answer.
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#iceprotest #iceprotests #graffitart #graffiti #southomaha #omahanebraska #omaha

Maybe the real tariffs were the friends we made along the way.

You can't be a Sox fan and still believe in a god after last year

The cardinals elected a cubs fan.

THE CARDINALS ELECTED A CUBS FAN

Next up: tariffs on all international baseball players.

“You have the Oh So Great SHOHEI Ohtani making 5 Billion dollars and stealing jobs, and bases, from PROUD AMERICAN players who never had a prayer. Not to mention the Greatest Fraud perpetrated on my close friend Pete Rose! INVESTIGATION!”

Maybe the real NFTs were the friends we made along the way.

Should I get a snorricam? I feel like I should get a snorricam.

Two people I know died mysteriously one after the other this weekend. This last year has been way too full of that sort of thing. I don’t know what to say beyond that.

One book I was super excited to read in school but was super disappointed in was “Lord of the Flies”

Really this just an excuse for me to yell “waffle to waffle”

Idea for a reboot: Requiem for a Dream but it takes place entirely in a Waffle House.

Hands off rally in Omaha #handsoff