(Stupid) Detective

detective

SHIT I MEANT THE MASTER

heh. in this city im the best at what i do. some could say im the expert.

two panel comic of a grizzled type in a fedora, smoking. panel 1: there's no shortage of punks in this city. panel 2: also a healthy contingent of ravers, shoegazers, b-boys, frisky and regular-type goths, bluegrass fans, jazz hipsters, and whatever people who like synthwave are called.

old sketchbook jokes

sorry for the lack of posts, I get real caught up in all my casework and buying paint in assortments of grey for any new furniture I get for my office

???the fuck is he talking about? is he stupid? theres no post

you are still what

this is a job for the world's greatest detective (me its me guys)

this the typa dame to come to me with a case only for it to have been her by the end.

was hired to investigate a company that is committing a crime called "Tax Evasion"? are they just making this shit up now? what the fuck even is a taxes

This kind fellow at "Taco Bell" kept trying to hire me for a case but unfortunately this would-be client was not aware that although I am one of the smartest men alive I do not possess the ability to speak Spanish. He kept asking something along the lines of how I wanted my case ideas.

If you are wondering why I've barricaded the bathroom in the office its because there is another equally as handsome rival detective in there..

was driving on the way to the crime scene for this homicide and accidentally hit a pedestrian and in panic I decided to bluff to the police that this is actually the murderer.

really rolling the dice on this one..

Another mystery to soLVE. wHO KNOWS.. i WILL BEGIN INVESTIGATING IMMEDIATELY

now don't be rude but I am trapped in the filing cabinet. please send help this is not a joke. my only food in here is the turkey on rye I accidentally filed last month

Tried out one of these "Social Deduction Games" I've been hearing so much about. Its called something along the lines of "File Explorer". They make these games real difficult I suppose because its been 3 hours and I still haven't gotten a single clue of who it is!

I wonder what kind of wild place in this city could even have half of these things.. I'll need to investigate right away.

Done many late nights and long days filled with struggle and strife but I finally made a breakthrough on this case. Its about this bird that for some reason went from this one place to another on the opposite side of the street. The only question is why...

i've been looking at the clues for this case for about 45 minutes now and only just realized that the key piece of evidence to my leading theory was actually my own receipt from burger king

id say that this new case im on has me stumped but im so confused its more accurate to say it has me tree-d

welcome back to ranking other detectiveses, today we have the question from d.c.

Intelligence 0/10 (COmparede to me)

Havign a fAce 0/10

Makes me question things about myself (sexual style) 1/10

Overall ranking winds up at a D- with a 1/30 score.

a jerk in the local jazz club where I was smoking a cigar thoughtfully in a corner while doing my inner monologue pointed at me and shouted "hey look at sherlock homeless over in the corner!" ruined my whole fucking day.

finding it, and by it i mean, the clues (someone please help me i am lost somewhere between 4th avenue and chicago)

yoooooooo

chased a hooligan down an alleyway because I thought they were the culprit for this case but it turned out actually that it was just a very large dog. fuck my stupid black and white life.

@fixerfannumber1.bsky.social // as a totally on brand and "normal" "pmsky" "account" "can" wait hold on. ok nevermind can i get addered to the parody feed

for my first case i tried to start out simply with the basics but its been 20 minutes no pretty lady who is a popular local singer has randomly walked in yet

The only case I cant solve is all of them.