Fart Vision

all food should be factory crap slurry that makes a big fart sound when it comes off the conveyor belt!!! #truth

"this is what you need. if it seems wrong its just evidence of how out of touch you've become with your body's natural rhythms'

charging 2 billion dollars to pro sports teams to install 'advanced scientific nutrisystems to deliver individuated meal profiles to maximize athletic dominance' and the player gets a million scans before the meal but it just blasts the players body weight of spaghetti out of a pipe into a barrel

Pop pop would wake up at 5am to harvest goopgel nutricubes from the garden. and we'd wake up to the smell of Gram them frying them up

Listen up soldier! If you're going to make fun of "The Secret of GooGoo Bear #34: Mystery of the Singing Pumpkin", our platoon's favorite book, then you're gonna spend the next WEEK in the STOCKADE!

Coin used as Leeds bus fare was 2,000‑year‑old currency The coin was handed down to Peter Edwards from his grandfather in the 1950s.

This is the sort of thing a cashless society robs us of, the opportunity to try to get away with paying the bus fare in Carthaginian currency www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

there's a cache of rations at each base. each fielder is armed with a pistol but only one bullet

in baseball the batters should get 10 strikes and there should be 50 outs an inning and the basepaths should be a mile long and there are no fences

(your sadness slowly turns to anger) But do I not also try my best? Do I not deserve trust, compassion, honesty? maybe they deserve it... yes. maybe they need... even tighter shoes!! HAHAHA

They invented the cybertruck so people who aren't funny can know what it's like to make everyone around them laugh

I think it feels like that way for a lot of people, myself included. i just keep muddling along

feel like at least academically you need to know a baseline amount stuff to have cool ideas about what you want to do, then knowing what you want to do drives you to learn more skills, and ideally that cycle starts propelling itself

D&D characters know they have "levels" and the knowledge hurts them

talking about drinking mellow yellow in a mickey mouse voice

@JDfromscrubslol Had a dream there was an emoji like 💯 except it was only 60. Some post said "popeyes fries be tasting so good (60)" and I laughed so hard I woke myself up

Thinking about the 60 emoji again

I can tell devin williams is going to get 60 saves with a 0.49 era this season

lol

thats the other thing too like most of the people doing this have wall-to-wall carpet. do you think its good to rub dog poop particulates in there every day to sit for literal years between stanley steemer visits?

its yucky out there, bro. how often do you mop the floor or, worse, shampoo the rug? you do the math

we did shoes in the house in my family as a kid and i thought nothing of it until i was like 25 and now doing it feels like not washing your hands after using the toilet

This puts me at 10 people released. I filed my 1st habeas petition 29 days ago. I am an incredibly small-time, nobody lawyer who knew nothing about immigration law the day I submitted that case. I barely know any more today. I had never sued the federal government and now I've beaten them 10 times.

use it to patch a critical leak in the space station high-pressure fuel tank

we're going to start a whole new frat at yale. our thing is leaving whole burgers and pizza and other food around the house to rot and attract vermin... if you can't handle it, gtfo!!!

🛫

#groovyatyale

ive just received word that we have all been accepted to the yale university undergraduate program for the 2026-2027 academic year. go us! feeling groovy...

think its one of those "changes your understanding of what concerts can be (laudatory)" experiences for me

"What do you think of my clansing?"
"you're what?"
"my clansing?"
"doesn't sound like my business really"

Burnley F.C, by Paul Slater, 1997.