A Cheeseburger Pillow

ECONOMY: SHAMBLES
OIL: $300 PER BARREL
COUNTRY: ON FIRE
REPUBLICANS: Hey man can i look in your child's pants? Just for a second man is it cool if i inspect your child's genitals. Just a quick little look man it's totally cool i just need to make sure you're not doing crimes. Just a quick touch man-

cafe worker told me "oh that's a good one" after I chose a specific danish for breakfast and I've been riding that high all day

Old Soviet joke: man goes to newsstand every day, picks up Pravda, looks at front page, puts it back. “Comrade,” says the new seller, “why do you do this every day?”

“I’m looking for an obituary.”

“But comrade, those are in the back of the paper!”

“The one I am looking for won’t be.”

anyone here in 2026? I post on the video of me singing the Major General song in the 6th grade play that my mom posted just one hour ago.

This is sweet and nice in a very lovely way.

Hey I just met you
and this is crazy
but you look fertile--
please have my babies

There is a man at the ACC tournament screaming Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls while Stanford tries to shoot free throws

Every day of life under Trump is waking up to a headline like, “Wyoming is missing”

Part of me will always wonder what if Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria coulda made it work.

a t shirt that says protect trans kids with wolverine in pink and blue by A.L. kaplan

LOOK WHAT I GOT

“the thinker of tender thoughts” by shel silverstein [an illustration depicting a boy growing into a man. as he grows, his hair grows out as flowers. people laugh at him for it and he becomes sad. he starts trimming off the flowers, but as he reaches the last one he stops. he is then depicted with a smile and a flower in his buttonhole on his jacket.]

“the thinker of tender thoughts”
by shel silverstein

The weird ads where the lobbyists are clearly talking directly to Trump, like I get what you're trying to do, but why do you show them to me? Do you think he is also watching 'Jennifer's Body" on Tubi?

Fun thing to think about very briefly: who currently has better lawyers, the United States or Nintendo

Despite having the same last name, David Byrne and Rose Byrne are not father and daughter, as you might assume. They are, instead, best friends.

*gets to

Did I hallucinate that there was an astromech droid in canon in the X-wing novels who did this? That the codeword was "cold one"?

Contemporary English pumpernickel is a loanword from German Pumpernickel (compare also German Pompernickel and Bompernickel), referring to a black bread from Westphalia. The word is found in English-language literature as early as 1738. Before its use to refer to the bread, the German word was used to mean "lout" (and can later be found in southern German-speaking areas in use for "vivacious child" or "small, plump person or child"). The German word is constructed from two elements: Early modern German pumper meaning 'fart' (recorded in 1558 in this sense) or "to knock, fall noisily", from which the sense of "fart" derived (Middle High German pumpern). The second element, Nickel, is pet form of the name Nikolaus.[1] An earlier word for the bread is attested in English as cranck broat, meaning "sick bread".[1]

I'm so excited to share this with you.

2026 nuclear family meme— featuring Fritzi as Neurodivergent Aunt, Sluggo as Sluggo, Nancy as Daughter, Nancy Jr as Woke Dog

Idk man gen 1 just hot different Gen 1: Rock Mime Bird Clay Eggs

I will add one last thought. Many of the responses from Democratic lawmakers and liberal commentators (even the good ones) contain some ambivalence - some hope that perhaps the fall of the Iranian regime, even at the hands of Donald Trump, will be for the best. I understand why. I am the son of an Iranian immigrant. Ultimately I want freedom, democracy, and dignity for the Iranian people. The problem is that I've seen the American government promise all of those things a hundred times, and I've never seen them deliver it once.

one more excerpt

When Sgt. Declan J. Cody was born in 2005/2006, the Iraq War was already two years old.

Oklahoma is the least funny state

This is helpful, curious re: least funny states that make jokes unfunny eg Connecticut

Pronouncing "pizza pizza" in all the wrong ways.

Is It Time to Reappropriate Perv Culture?

The exquisite pleasure of being pantsless on the couch

Blsky will end when Jamelle and Stancil kiss

Deadline article: Hulu Developing Animated Action Comedy Series 'The Kids From S.I.P.P.Y. From Branson Reese & Nicole Silverberg By Matt Grobar March 2, 2026 2:30pm Two pictures: one of a mustachioed man who looks like the smoking breakroom aliens from Men In Black and the other of my beautiful wife Nicole. Both photos were taken by the extremely talented Mindy Tucker.

Let's fucking go

Twin Peaks Logo Generator Turtle Power!