Taylor Swope

my condolences

jumping from “Carrie” (1974, 290 pages) to “Bag of Bones” (1998, 732 pages) and it’s amazing how concise King was once able to be

Sign reading “literature only”

no genre bullshit allowed on this flight

anyone else see this pop up lately? this is worse than when they tell you to click on crosswalks

watched s2 of The Bear, and my main takeaway is that if working in a kitchen is anything like what is depicted in that show, I want worse food made by people who are paid more to work less and I’m not kidding

on your last day in prison walk up to the biggest, meanest guy in the yard and give him your contact info so you can stay in touch

[waving hand dismissively] yes yes the horrors are ceaseless and all-consuming

the whole thing is so kate-coded tbh

worn bit of Kodak film showing a young woman

over a decade ago I grabbed a book out of a junk pile and I’m just now getting around to reading it, and I found a bit of film stuck between the pages and I love physical media so much

Microdosing stolen valor by silently believing that certain fireworks are going off in honor of me

happy dog

hello

A picture of Jon Arbuckle wearing a sleeveless green shirt with an exclamation point, an apron, and a chef's hat looking angrily at Garfield the cat. A disgusting looking beige pile of slime that is supposed to be a lasagna sits in between them.

A picture of a lasagna fresh out of the over from the cartoon Garfield and Friends but the lasagna looks more like puff pastry or lumpy mash potatoes

I'd say that 25% of the lasagnas depicted in Garfield and Friends look like a plate of beige hummus or a bunch of rolled up mashed potato logs and my theory is that Jon is making Garfield special "cat lasagnas" that are cheaper because Garfield is an animal and does not know the difference

this is the kind of grade-a content that the twitter folks are missing out on

for many years I have tried and failed to understand weather and at this point I’m just going to say that it’s none of my business
cold fronts, low pressure volumes, it’s all dead to me, just tell me if it’s hot or cold outside

in high school this rich kid had these super expensive sunglasses and he kept bragging about how they were unbreakable and he’d never need another pair, and then after winter break he didn’t have them anymore and we asked what happened and he sheepishly said he lost them and I still laugh about that

Finding mutuals on here like the dead recognizing one another's faces on the far shore of the river we must all cross

uhhh I know he hates newman and airline food and uhhhh not getting soup? but I don’t know about mondays

garfield? more like seinfeld

I’m wanting to be a bit more sincere here and leave the shitposting to twitter and I’m discovering that I think I have forgotten how to express genuine feelings without adding “lmao” or otherwise couching it all in some joke

taylor (taylor (taylor's version)'s version)

my hero

am I unhappy with my job or am I simply unhappy and have a job

[lorenzo music voice] poggers

[tips my hat] b’sky

yeah, it’s gotten a little better even in the short time I’ve been riding, but today’s was just a whole new level of misery for me 😩