Los Feliz Daycare

Houston (49 weeks, NY pronunciation) just started baby signing, “clavicular got frame mogged by the Arizona State frat leader”

your vocal stim, you say? your hyper fixation? please stop cosplaying autism

ALL DRINKS WILL BE HOT OR LUKEWARM FROM NOW ON CUZ WE DON’T SUPPORT I**

Farm to table snack is being pushed back a few minutes to determine if the home mushrooms Weir’s (84 weeks) mommies sent are psilocybin or regular. And please remember, we're no longer saying "snack" because the word has a hard, violent sounding “K.”

Elf on the Shelf is a dangerous normalization front for the surveillance police state we’re all
sleepwalking into

POV: you’ve been up for 3 days straight receiving ancient wisdom from your silver lake healer and you walk into an intervention

All parents and guardians MUST have an “I Voted” sticker on at drop off. We’re not getting started until everyone has voted. If your child is wearing an “I Voted” sticker, that’s illegal and we don’t appreciate it.

OK who’s doing the Sopranos rewatch podcast The Gabagirls?

The current state of LA is listening to a podcast on the way to an event and seeing the podcast guest when you arrive

tilly norwood was indicted on federal racketeering charges and is currently awaiting sentencing

things must be real bad cuz i don’t even know why the mcdonald’s flag is at half mast

Nobody ever talks about how Rhys Witherspoon sounds like the most British guy in the whole world

manuel-miranda (102 weeks) is talking at length about the “cinnamon togrophy” in “one beebee after a neenee”

NEXT WEEKEND: ONE GABBLE AFTER A DOLLHOUSE

🐔 Rest in anarchy, Buck Buck Obama 🐔

if it gets announced, we’ll postmate the whole mcdonalds menu to celebrate

almos spüky seezn

Congrats to our very own Billy Mommy Brown (47 weeks) who just signed an overall deal with PepsiCo+

teacher stephanie (1824 weeks) hanging with our gen z interns

it’s depressing that we assumed the weighted vest girlies walking near campus were wearing b***et proof vests but here we are in this game show ass hell hole of a country

Saying "I love you" is a disservice to your child. Be specific so they see you acknowledging their unique and special attributes. EXAMPLE: “I love the way you use your telescope to take picture of dying stars” or “I love your eye for summer salad ingredients.”

nature is healing

Welcome to earthquakes, NY. We recommend tweeting about it and preparing an earthquake survival kit (raw water, an 80s grateful dead cassette, poems (TX pronunciation), amino acids, and various crystals)

Op-Ed (58 weeks) has been spewing hate speech (baby sign language) about red dyes (pro!) all week. Have they been exposed to seed oils or something?

literally every los angeles parent you know is yelling at this picture for 70 different reasons

Our first entertainment lawyer was named Perry Menopause

Hearing that some are using this time to “get into” the Grateful Dead. We strongly encourage those exploring to reach our to Shaman Jeff (lost his mind on summer tour ‘91 but found his soul) for his responsibly curated recs. Brooding Dark Star jams can be dangerous out of context

For those young ones asking, “Swag,” the name of the new Justin Bieber album is also a term used by the elderly to describe aura in 2007

our version of the silver surfer is a troubled vet named stanley who resides in our alley and regularly huffs metallic paint

Sunscreen is TOXIC! A safe alternative is encouraging your child to read poetry in a dark, cool room.