me on Mondays: CAPITALISM IS KILLING US ALL, ARE WE BORN ONLY TO JOB?

me on Fridays at 4pm: "ooo that's a good price for a 4K blu-ray. i will treat myself."

had two Costco hot dogs for lunch and i feel like I'm about to boom, boom, boom, boom, boooooooom!

in 6 months David Lynch will be dead in the ground and still have a better head of hair than me.

I want a cigarette and a Pabst.

It's honestly irresponsible of home builders in South East Texas to build fireplaces. They will never be used and encourage ignorant people to put their TV's above the fireplace as the rooms are centered around the fireplace. #tvtoohigh

when i'm 70, I'm going to tell people that KK Slider was the best musician of my generation.

*scans down to line 391* "it was the blurst of times?!?"

hello world