Jeff Bachtel

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a giant squid wearing a yellow Bart t-shirt and some terrible hypebeast shorts is looking in the mirror. It says, “need groceries… but all my clothes are in the laundry.” Panel 2: the squid, now also wearing hot pink crocs, exits its apartment and says, “eh. I won’t see anyone.” Panel 3: two fisherman are pulling the squid to the surface of the water and pointing at it. An overlayed news caption reads: RARE SQUID SIGHTED - the fit was crazy

All bogs are good bogs.

JD Vance Struggling To Articulate What It Is He Doesn’t Love About Baby Name ‘Rohit’

JD Vance Struggling To Articulate What It Is He Doesn’t Love About Baby Name ‘Rohit’ https://theonion.com/jd-vance-struggling-to-articulate-what-it-is-he-doesnt-love-about-baby-name-rohit/

you draw up that ad for amtrak?
sure did boss, diarrhea money shot just like you asked

I mean we're doing well enough that I got an ARC and swag but it's important we do BETTER so that KB has to put goats in her immaculately landscaped yard and then watch in horror as her dogs eat goat poop.

Hit up sidequested.com/book/ for an exhaustive list of places to pre-order!

examples for the tcpdump and dig man pages jvns.ca/blog/2026/03...

its donald trump forbidding iran from mining the strait of hormuz forthwith

I do not give the IRGC or any entities associated with Iran permission to mine the Strait of Hormuz. With this statement I give notice to the IRGC it is strictly forbidden to mine the Strait. The violation of ukase can be punished by law (UCC 1308 11 308103 and the Rome Statute).

that's MY hidden pocket of hours keep your hands off

I know we're supposed to make Jesus's sacrifice worth it, but that's just wrong

The enemy? At the gates? It’s more likely than you think!

I don’t think someone being camera off is rude, and having been doing these meetings for over a decade now, I appreciate folks protecting their sanity and staying camera off if they prefer.

I get it, we just have different perspectives/opinions. If I’m camera on and you join camera off, unless there’s a need to see you I won’t say anything and will probably go camera off, myself.

Counterpoint: No, a voice Teams meeting is just fine. I've got my favorite earbuds plugged into my laptop, it's easy to open a notepad and check things out, I can share my screen if I need to, and heck we can dial folks in on a phone if they need us to

(obv I'm not Jack, I'm Jeff)

Airborne Clowning Event

CLOWNY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS

a man with his eyes closed in a blurry picture Alt: John Ham vibing as the high explosive is about to ruin EVERYONE’s day

“Danger close, fire for effect”

John Wilkes Booth was quietly watching a play when suddenly shots rang out and his life changed forever.

“Don’t ever be the first to stop applauding.”

-- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, writing about the unfortunate director of the local paper factory

mannerofspeaking.org/2010/05/12/s...

"THE TRUTH WE CAN'T TELL EACH OTHER IS THAT GRIEF IS A MUTATION. WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE, YOU WILL BEAR THIS WOUND FOREVER. YOU WILL BE MOURNING UNTIL THE END OF YOUR DAYS. IT CHANGES YOUR STATE OF BEING IN THE WORLD." - JULIA DUCOURNAU -

I know a lot of you think editing a horror magazine is all fun and games, but sometimes you’ll just be proofreading an article by a top-notch interviewer like @isaacfeldberg.bsky.social and get smacked in the face with a quote that will stay with you forever.

I Am Fighting Back Against the Trump Administration by Moving to Portugal “More people moved out of the U.S. last year than moved in for the first time since the Great Depression as a record number of citizens moved abroa...

"I draw inspiration from those who came before me in the fight against tyranny when I say, 'Give me liberty or give me the chill life of an expat in a foreign city that has a similar climate to San Francisco.'"

No hate for the 808!

Why (Do) We Fight On Communicating the Object of a War

Hey look. I wrote about the reasons for communicating the justifications and goals of wars.

othermeans.substack.com/p/why-do-we-...

ugh do they still examine the chicken intestines with his phrasing?

but honestly quacktalk was written about him, like a prophecy

"doublethink? buddy, he's not doing a singlethink"

"don't let 'skeets' stick" is an all-timer double entendre, will never not be in awe of it

this is basically american foreign policy now

Wholesome skeets with threatening auras (approving)

Could an empire in decline do THIS? *launches deeply unpopular invasion cementing status as lunatic-led pariah state, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do*