there must be some clovers in the atmosphere...

a fun thing about me is, every fan in my house needs a different size of lightbulb, like why would you do that to me

In other news, the 2022 cancellation of Cinnamint by Listerine is having lasting effects on me personally.

First time watching Home Alone 2 with the kid and they said "wow, I hope I never have to go up there, that's too high" about Kevin visiting the World Trade Center. Well kiddo, I've got some good news and some bad news.
#homealone2 #christmas #9/11 #never4get

Justice for peniseye

Had the absolute pleasure and privilege of seeing this gal and her 75,000 year old tour pet/backup dancer last night in KC. A big "have fun and be safe" to all who get to go tonight! 🩷🐎♣️

was humming Juno to myself and my kid asked what I was singing. "oh just Sabrina Carpenter, she's an artist that old people like" and the LOOK I got made the last 11 years of parenting worth it.

It's your world and I'm just a squirrel
Tryna get a nut to move your butt - C+C Music Factory, 1990 USA

Jingle bells jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to watch
The government go down in flames

I've been lucky to live on the edge of the last 2 places I've lived; not quite city, not quite country. Came home from dinner tonight to a deer in the driveway and lightning bugs galore in the yard. Life is a sweet fruit.

Taco Bell and perimenopause are complimentary colors.

Dogma is coming back to theaters 6/5 and I would like to extend a personal "you're welcome" for making this happen by FINALLY finding a DVD copy at a garage sale last month after years of searching. #butterflyeffect

one day I will learn that watching The Last Of Us before bed and waking up to the woodpecker in our backyard that sounds exactly like a clicker, don't mix.

My shayla

Oh for sure, I know the (rip) food 4 less store brand 😆

all the best stuff is HOLY SHID WUT at Checkers 🎶

I got them in my ears once and it was terrible

OREO ROYALLY dangit

That's just the risk of Christmas

a little bit of trauma to whet your appetite for the big trauma. like a little trauma appetize. a traumatizer

Ugh there's few things more paralyzing to my brain than waiting for the package that's been 7 stops away for 30 minutes to arrive so I can finish my gosh dang project already goddammit

Two clowns in a clown cave

Sometimes I randomly think about how my kid doesn't like french fries, and I realize how much we truly don't understand about DNA.

I also have beef with the Christmas shoes for the dying mom song, like get your tiny butt home and be with your mom she doesn't gaf about shoes!!!

babies don't even really wear shoes. I gave away several pairs of unworn baby shoes from a fully alive baby who refused said foot prisons.

book Mary W Shelley He sprang from the cabin window as he said this upon th ice raft which lay close to the vessel. He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance. Written in pen is As he drifted away I could just make out his final words "its ok if you call me 'Frankenstein' instead of 'Frankenstein's Monster' I really don't mind" The end

Taking this toe biter to the vet for his tiny surgery today. 🚫👶🏻

In Trump's America, plane flies you! - Yakov Smirnoff (alleged), 2024