[Watching Lord Of The Rings with my new girlfriend]
ME: In Spain, Elrond is called The Rond
HER: Get out.
18.10.2025 17:42
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[Watching Lord Of The Rings with my new girlfriend]
ME: In Spain, Elrond is called The Rond
HER: Get out.
Buy unripe avocados, put them in the box with the bananas and see if you cannot harness the stubbornness of bananas for good?
I only just found you today! But thank God I did. Genius as always, sir, but terrifying. Merry Christmas!
Well I guess it's time to finally christen this new account
Did you see this? youtube.com/shorts/XO4bx... Although if everyone uses Cliff's idea, the hashtag might die out. Mind you, he doesn't mention fitness equipment or drum kits. #DuvetKnowItsChristmas
As the person who accidentally began this Yuletide event, it falls to me to give it some kind of shape. Clearly anyone can use hashtags whenever and wherever they like, but given that we've got presents to panic buy and wrap, I usually say "let's get going at 7.30pm?" 3/
So, let's try doing #duvetknowitschristmas here this evening? People are literally Driving Home For Christmas right now, which MIGHT JUST mean that they'll be sleeping somewhere unusual. 1/
TinTin's dog's name in different languages...
Reposting this after the last repost I did. It sucks that we have to do this but this may help for those of you who need to look up reference material that isn’t part of Google’s horrendous AI bloat
MURDER, SHE WROTE SHOWRUNNER: Our new show needs a theme song, it's about a widow who constantly stumbles onto corpses whose murders she has to solve
COMPOSER: So you want something heavy & somber to reflect all the death?
MSWS: I want—look at me—I want the jauntiest little ditty anyone's ever heard
Andy's superpower is conversation. If you let him draw you into a conversation, you are spat out at the other end full of entertainment, information, and joie de vivre. If you're a bookshop, you've also signed up to take 200 copies, and if you're a mugger, you gave him back the Rolex.
Amazingly, this isn't his best performance: he has *twice* talked muggers who actually took his wallet into giving him a refund.
Mugger: Yeah, sure. You're a funny one, aren't you?
Andy: Ah, well, you have to be yourself. If there's one thing I hope you remember from this meeting, it's that. Never follow the crowd!
At which the muggers agree, thank him for the advice, and everyone goes on their way.
/fin
Andy agrees to look into it and thanks them for the advice, at which the would-be muggers realise they have pretty much lost the whole 'threatening people for money' ground.
/4
Hoody: You can use texts, so--
Andy: Oh, can't stand them. There's nothing like talking to someone directly, is there? No, mobiles are no use to me.
Hoody: You can get adapted ones. My nan has one.
A conversation ensues in which the mugger starts recommending adaptive technology.
/3
So Andy is wandering the mean streets of Clapham as you do when two teen hoodies come up and demand his phone.
Andy: Sorry, don't have it on me.
Hoody: Course you do.
Andy: No, I don't No use to me. I'm mostly deaf, can't use the thing. Got a specially adapted landline at home.
/2
Oh my GOD. Went for coffee with an old publishing mate and he told me the tale of his latest mugging. Brace for this.
(To note, my mate is a 75yo man, short, obviously quite posh, and deaf in one ear. He gets mugged a lot. It rarely works out for the muggers, for reasons that will become obvious.)
Then what happened
My washing machine: Okay that's it, I've finished spinning your clothes.
Me: Great, I can have them now then?
My washing machine: Absolutely not, I need to hold on to them for a bit.
Me: What does this achieve? You've spun them dry!
My washing machine: Shut up, I'm busy fondling them.
@lalynne.bsky.social
Early Christmas gift to you
This. Is. Glorious. Even better than Aberdeen's Christmas leopard.
This is a good piece. But… it’s *really* surprising that this is the only long article I’ve read about the effect of the cyberattack at the British Library.
No national newspaper has commissioned a proper long read about it. i.e. What happened? Why? Who has been affected? What happens next?
They...cured lupus??? www.nature.com/articles/d41... I mean. It's a hella intense, sci-fi treatment, and we're talking only a dozen or two patients, but they have actually knocked down four different autoimmune diseases here and it...works??
That's some top notch chaplaining right there!
John Byrne, too? Dear God, but the 30th of November was taking no prisoners.
Discovered recently that while my elderly neighbour won't accept charity, she's happy to take "unwanted two-for-the-price-of-one" items off my hands. So now we do a nice dance with that where no pride is hurt.
Sharing as a tip for anyone worried about a neighbour's food security in cold weather.
Haven't seen this very important research reported for a while, so will just remind you all of it www.bmj.com/content/331/...
Cannot stop thinking about this question I saw a tiktok podcast dude ask: How many owls would you have to see in one day before you started legit panicking?
Not like, wow that’s a lot of owls, but like, something is absolutely going down and I need to call my loved ones immediately.