i don’t mind if you’re on your phone while we’re hanging out but i should be allowed to see. this is our quality time let me sext your girlfriend with you
14.02.2026 08:45
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i don’t mind if you’re on your phone while we’re hanging out but i should be allowed to see. this is our quality time let me sext your girlfriend with you
my doctor asked if i was also seeing a dentist and optometrist. girl none of your business
I know it’s because I’m so incredibly Ohioan but it baffles my mind that Pittsburgh and Philadelphia are so far away from each other. I am not even open to the idea of Texas.
The time has come, the walrus said
To talk of many things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of
oh lol it’s Drawfee like coffee. and that’s why it’s a mug
i never really rocked with the metaphor of “fiddler on the roof”
being on a roof just isn’t inherently that precarious. people go on roofs all the time. fiddler on the space needle, maybe. fiddler on the top rung of a really tall ladder
really good
i always thought it was weird that people called the early stages of dating, “talking.” until i realized my mom calls going out for coffee, “hooking up.” and my grandma calls going to the grocery store, “anal.”
thoughts funny people have
it’s not that my self esteem is so low that i don’t think anyone would ever want to fuck me. it’s that my self esteem is so HIGH that I don’t think anyone is SMART ENOUGH to want to fuck me
i missed it was it good
Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.
watching @drawfeeshow.com
this shit kinda slaps. real slappola shit over here
This entire grift relies on convincing people that they don't know how to do the things they have always known how to do, and ironically, if it works, we will, in a very short amount of time, forget how to do all the things we have always known how to do.
so cool you love music and got a high paying gig at the AI music company. I love lions so I got a job in Africa helping dentists hunt them
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
4 panel comic Panel 1: Red Guy looking way way too happy yells “Hey Guys! Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?” Blue Guy next to him calmly says “Shhh” Panel 2: Blue Guy tenderly puts his arms around Red Guy and says “You don’t have to do this” Panel 3: Blue Guy still holds Red Guy tightly and repeats “You don’t have to do this every year”. Red Guy begins to break. Panel 4: Red Guy dissolves into Blue Guy’s embrace, sobbing. He finally feels the weight of Christmas Discourse lifting from his shoulders. He is finally free.
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
started using “no ego” like “no homo” before i say some narcissistic shit. i’m like no ego but someone should write a profile of me for a paper
You should move on from Harry Potter because JK is a transphobe but also because you're 40 years old
this AI shit is not gonna break me. I am still a writer and I'm still gonna write shit and it's gonna mostly be "just OK" workaday prose elevated by my little poetic flourishes but it's gonna be something only I could write. and maybe I won't even do anything with it, but it will exist
Helpful!! Thanks!
Does bluesky suppress links like the other apps? Reply if you see this!
Here’s a LINK to my EMAIL LIST for exclusive unlisted YOUTUBE videos of my standup, sketch, and improv comedy!!
sendfox.com/cammgodfrey
a fetish is something you NEED to have to enjoy sex?? yeah right, so i have an alcohol fetish? dumbass
i’m empath sober. i only buy a drink if it seems like the bar i’m in really needs the business right now
there’s not a honk for “girl your car!! it’s on fire!!”
no i don’t have anxiety i just have a constant dormant underlying fear that my car is actively on fire while i’m driving it but no one knows how to tell me
pussy from a girl who will never stop thinking about the way you kissed her
hey sorry i couldn’t “act like i’ve been there.” in my defense, i haven’t and never will
i’ve discovered ways to feel inferior that you motherfuckers don’t even have access to. and in the way ultimately i am better than you
honoring my late father’s memory by being truly desperate for male approval