Paisley

Hail and well met, adventurer! Thine appearance is fortuitous—nay, serendipitous!—for many in this realm are in direst need of thy aid. Though we be poor, thou wilt be rewarded for aught you do for us.

OBJECTIVES:
🔲 Suck 𝟱𝟬 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗸𝘀
🔲 (OPTIONAL) Bonus XP: Suck 𝟱𝟬 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗸𝘀 to 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

Screenshot of a single question and answer from interview in the Times Literary Supplement with Ursula K. Le Guin. Here is the quote: If you could make a change to anything you’ve written over the years, what would it be? In The Dispossessed, I would mention the communal pickle barrels at street corners in the big towns, restocked by whoever in the community has made or kept more pickles than they need. I knew about the free pickles all along, but never could fit them into the book.

Ursula K. Le Guin on the true pain of being a writer

I stand by this.

"I'm alive!" said Gatsby, roaring past on a speedboat. He'd faked his own death and gotten away with everything. That's why they called him the Great Gatsby. "Out of the way, current!" he yelled at the water. "This speedboat is bearing me ceaselessly into the future!"

Every time I read The Great Gatsby, the final paragraph brings me to tears. Breathtakingly powerful writing:

the senators recoil in horror as a wounded Caesar rises from the floor and a second health bar appears on the screen

Gandalf: tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for beans??! Saruman outline made up of baked beans: [bean noises]

I will never apologize for a post

gavin newsom looks like you yaaasified Leland Palmer

"Careful it's hot! It's hot!" But you don't move out of the doorway in time and I let go to spill the entire dish no one asked me to bring, a 60 qt stock pot full of boiling water and a completely unseasoned butcher shop pig's head that spins down the foyer making eye contact with every single guest

Heathcliff the little orange garfieldish cat in a butcher’s shop wearing a pitch black helmet that reads “ham”. Another patron (a human woman) is warned by the butcher “Don’t order ham” neither human seems concerned but heathcliff’s intent is clear.

A true iconoclast

shirt with the text I went to the Garfield fan-con in Cleveland Ohio and all I got was Pregnant

Do y'all like my new shirt?

This is true. A pal of mine who is a policeman went to a Scottish island recently to investigate a missing person and when the locals found out he was a Christian they stuck him in a giant human-shaped willow branch construction and burned him alive.

If they panned out you would be able to see the ball pit

I wish I could text my cat (we’re in the same room but she doesn’t want to be pet)

KEEP HONKING I'M
𝓔𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓲 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓪 𝔃𝓲𝓹𝓵𝓸𝓬 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓼

HE THRUSTS
HIS DICK
AGAINST THE
SINK
AND STILL
INSISTS
HE SEES
THE GRINK

i wish italian people were real

gonna start a rumor that the slang term 'juice' (a la "has the juice") is actually just short for "jouissance"

Instead of cremation, I'd like to be the main ingredient for a one-off competitive cooking show on Netflix. I feel like this isn't that far outside the realm of possibility.

James Twinpeaks but i content aware scaled his head up real tall

in like 2015 i made this edit of James Twinpeaks because i like to disrespect him. i just saw it on tumblr in a new post. stupidly happy it's still going around

look you're just wrong. cilantro is in no way "just homosexual parsley." that doesn't even begin to make sense.

Pustule. creeping filth

Where is John galt (no one cares)

actually atlas shrugged sounds pretty great right now (all the rich people fucking off and leaving us alone)

Got a tarot reading and somehow all the cards were The Tower except the last one which was something called The Really Bad Tower, and I just don't know what to make of that.

Geb and Nut

#art