michael.

that’s how you get pregnant isn’t it ???? unprotected story likes

I still do an XD to be totes randumz sometimes

Surprised the #youth haven’t started doing it as a form of nostalgiacore protest

the :P one is a bit of me

Excellent work

Responding ‘aww, hey there lil guy’ when someone sends you a dick pic is never not funny btw

I know an Aldi protein pudding hates to see me coming

oh don’t be dramatic, who among us doesn’t hang out with nazis from time to time

rupaul charles after singing the lyrics ‘bust my pussy nut while I’m fingering your butt’ on the 2019 miley cyrus song ‘cattitude’

okay but this headline makes it sound like he made it worse 😭

oh yeah, I don’t think she believes any of it herself, she’s just giving up any morals she has in order to succeed in politics which isn’t unrealistic

It’s giving

I still can’t believe that got planning permission without anyone pointing it out

feels like the evil type of doorbell my nana would have

yeah no I don’t like it

they have a jingle?!

#NewProfilePic

Rest In Power 🪽

‘Oops, wrong account. If you saw that, no you didn’t 😅👀’

I’m just praying that private accounts will be a thing if this ever takes off enough for my actual real life friends to start joining 💀

can’t wait for private accounts to become a thing so people can go back to doing this all the time lmao

I think my irl oomfs are used to it at his point tbf

some of us are dumb and lazy and forgetful

I just get complacent with it because it’s usually so good at doing it for me

banger

need a man who lasts as long as the final minute on my washing machine does

I feel like there’s something wrong with the Bluesky automatic labelling today because everyone seems to be saying the same thing

I’m sure I can undye my hair before I do it

you’ve made me believe I can do my own so I will take you to court when I inevitable fail

fucks sake 😭

You think I’d trust any of my friends to do it sober, let alone pissed ????

okay you’re safe for another day, but it’s on sight.