Henry

I feel like i've attained an additional level of gay.

I just watched a few minutes of the secretary of defense speak and he said, 'we are winning, they are losing, and we're going to take their weapons forever', which doesn't, at all sound like a four year old prosecuting a war.

I hate this timeline

He told me he was Catholic. It did not end well for him.

I just told a scam artist that i'm an old world pagan, and I think I broke his brain

We keep talking like it's gonna end, but like so many other failures of the universe, I expect it to last for eternity.

I genuinely appreciate men of a certain age who have embraced their slutty era.

Marriage really did ruin our best years, so fuck those shitty ex-dudes and go get fucked.

I had utterly forgotten my dedication to making Alistair love me.

I need one

My my all time favorite thing on the dating app is when a man over 50 says 'Sup'.

I also only turn my hat backwards if i'm going down (he says realizing that his profile pic is him wearing his hat backwards).

I'm hopeless.

Your snuggle fight challenge has been accepted.

If you're on sniffies telling people not to be hoes, I don't know where the fuck you think you are.

It ditched that app months ago, and yes, it's the absolute worst.

One of my best friends called me a cake eater today.

Adam was an awakening.

I'm apparently a good boy. Lol

The voice of Tyler Blackburn vibrates my fucking soul!

I'm here for the report. The possibilities are endlessly bad.

The reason I still have snapchat is so I can sing dumbass songs to my fucking best friend and the evidence is destroyed.

Y'all really don't want that shit gettin out there

I haven't been gaming as much since my divorce, so I rekindled Origins, and I think i'm starting to get my groove back.

You're doing divine work here, mate. Thank you.

Never Gonna Get It by En Vogue is now playing in my head

What level of whore have you attained when you write their names on your mirror in erasable marker to commit them to memory?

Ever the gracious one, sir.

Where's my support group?

I just have to say that if I have to choose between @kylec.bsky.social and Jill Anschutz, i know who the champion of the people is.

Mister Charles Bonniwell's story in the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle reads like a sad journo trying to win points with the society folk.

Social media is damaging because I frequently see a post and think, "I wanna touch your butt"

How am I supposed to focus like this?

I'm guessing they just don't taste good.

You have truly attained a new level of nerd sensibilities when you find a binder clip in the wild and think, you poor baby, you're coming home with me.

Momo's for killer cocktails and Old Town Pizza. Loved my visit.

I lowkey need need to know if the Perdue's will rescue the Woods in the name of protecting the klan.

Jesus fuck