Victoria

My birthday is tomorrow, act accordingly

Added new bday gifts to my throne and Tributify, go fetch!

I always forget to post here but we survived our family vacation! Send $10,000

About to spend the next several hours wrangling two heathens through the airport and on a plane, send for MANY MANY coffees

Also it's a Boeing so we might die then y'all better send for my funeral too

I hate it when months start out slow, like what do you mean it's already the 5th and I haven't hit my goal???

If you see this, send a coffee

Twitter being down may force me to touch grass

Jk I'll just be annoying here 🤣

Super glad they didn't splurge on hourly

Imagine getting off a long ass flight with your kids, dragging all your luggage out, exhausted and ready to go home to some peace and normalcy only to find out your car is charcoal

ME: Give it to me straight doc. Is the tumor malignant?

MY ONCOLOGIST WHO THE INSURANCE COMPANY REPLACED WITH AI: Regarding White genocide,

a man says you 're late in front of trees ALT: a man says you 're late in front of trees

THERE HE IS!

It really does tickle me that I will get hit on by guys in their early 20s. Like, child I'm a full DECADE or more older than you

🤣🤣❤️ yeah I sometimes forget to post here. It's hard for me to manage 2 platforms!

Wormy where are you 👀

Any chance the safety regs in Qatar are the worst in the world??? A girl can dream

I touched grass, did you?

DYINGGGGG

A guy I dated thought "a touch of grey" hair dye for men put grey in your hair... Rather than partially dyeing the grey you have 💀

It doesn't even have to be ridiculous, I'll settle for a measly 150k with 401k match and stock options tbh

I want a CEO sub that can put me on his payroll for a ridiculous salary for nothing

My favorite sushi restaurant just scored a 27 on their Health inspection 😭

It's May 2nd and I finally took the Christmas tree down

I found out my company will pay 100% for this online MBA program, I'm thinking about doing it for the resume. If some of the dumbest men I've ever worked with have MBAs, realistically how hard could it be

Hey gooners 216 to round me up for the month 😘 do it

Love that I cannot see the tweet because I've already blocked whoever it is 😂

I'm only 89 from a 4 figure day, make it happen for me 🔥

Talk me out of spending $6000 on fancy toilets

(or send $6000 for fancy toilets)

Celebratory Moe's tonight! My kiddo is promoted to the black belt class in Taekwondo 🥳

Send 60 for burritos and queso

TY!

my ex hard launched me once on his snap by saying "she said if I post her on snap I get GFE" and his dad actually was like, son are you paying this girl for sex? 💀💀

It's been a slow week and I don't like that, fix it