Karate can be learned in about a week if you just kick hard enough
12.03.2026 01:53
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Karate can be learned in about a week if you just kick hard enough
not today small weird door in my attic
NYPD really doesn’t like when you alternate calling their officers Bing and Bong
I’ve burned bridges, destroyed friendships, and ruined many lives to get to five thousand followers, and let me tell you what I’ve learned: it was totally worth it
People really appreciate that kind of thing
My superhero catch phrase would probably be something like “STAND CLEAR OF ME” or “PLEASE GO OVER THERE”
People have been so nice to me ever since my dad fell out of a helicopter
An entire human body just came out of my wife and I’m not supposed to think she’s a witch???
I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend. Because I’m a really really shitty friend
Sorry I stepped on your favorite bee. I was trying to step on your other bee
🙂↔️
What about a carpeted bathroom though
Is it bad to have sex with a praying mantis haha asking for a friend haha definitely not me haha like how would you even do it or whatever like i would never hahaha
Holy shit
I would never
*high fives*
Happy international women’s day to everyone except Susan
Nice
I literally can’t get any softer
it's woman's day so i'd love to remind you that I have a Patreon and just added a tier for people who are not really into the porn I make and just want to support me. i'll post my regular art on there for you.
patreon.com/Darkdeeny
My doctor says he’s never seen anyone more flaccid than me and that I’m probably the most flaccid man ever
“Welcome to fart school, class! I’ll be your instructor today and-“
*fart*
“Please raise your hand before you fart.”
It doesn’t
I’m so scared though
No
Oh
Then how am I seeing it
Immediately
AHHHHHHHHH
TOO SCARY