De’Von 8chan

In the same way my dad cheered against the Cowboys because “they killed the president,” I’m cheering for Utah Valley to win the WAC and make the NCAA tournament because they killed Charlie Kirk

FC Schalke? More like FC Scheisse, am I right soccer fans?

Yeah I’m bitter I had a “gum exam” for the first time in my life, and it doubled the amount of time at the dentist for an otherwise routine cleaning. Still!

I know I’m telling on myself here, but I find it hard to believe that your gums won’t bleed a single drop after 20-40 minutes of dentist torture if you’re brushing 2x a day and flossing once a day, every single day

Small bowl of spaghetti carbonara over a large bowl of the same food

My recipe rotation is small but mighty. Rice and beans, spaghetti carbonara, and pasta with marinara & Italian sausage. (Note: I already ate most of the food in the small bowl)

Bruce Pearl shut the fuck up challenge

my pussy look like a Raytheon war crime

MY PUSSY LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN GROUNDHOG

You’ll never catch me saying “eat the rich.” Not because I disagree with the sentiment, but because it sounds like it was made by a 10th grader so edgy, you’ll get a severe laceration just by grazing him

It is nothing short of a… I don’t want to say miracle, but surely the negative version of it, that up until a couple of weeks ago, there were zero firings and no discernible drama in the Trump cabinet. Maybe he should hit up his favorite mayor for advice on who to hire for replacements

AZ Alkmaar wished a guy named “Jizz” playing on their squad a happy birthday. Looking deeper, his full name is Jizz Hornkamp. That’s about the best last name you can have for that first name

“A kvetching to surpass Shtetl Gear”

Shtetl Gear Solid
Shtetl Gear Solid 2: Sons of Abraham
Shtetl Gear Solid 3: Treyf Eater
Shtetl Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Oyvey-triots
Shtetl Gear Solid: Peace Shlepper
Shtetl Gear Survive (the Pogroms)

(Searches “Hosico Cat” on Bluesky)

(Sees posts from me as well as from crypto accounts saying that Hosico has his own memecoin that had a big rise and then a big fall)

(Instantly dies)

Hosico, a fat orange cat with green eyes, looking behind him with a large plant in the background

“Listen Hosico Fat” -Joe Biden while petting Hosico

The ironic thing about so many shows being written explicitly for its viewers to ship different characters (which are usually ones built on pre-existing IP) is that the show with the most shipping going on right now is The Pitt- a show that’s well written and made

Another earthquake in the NYC area when San Francisco hasn’t had one in the Big Tech era. There is truly no justice in this world

On a related note, I take this kind of censorship personally. A rabbi my wife and I go to regularly isn’t having his contract renewed by his parent organization because he dared to say that Gaza needed aid and a ceasefire. They’d rather turn their guns at their own than our killers

Comment thread on an Adam Friedland Show clip with guest “Xaviersobased.” da.real.beer.nerd (me): “I never heard of this guy before but I know what his music sounds like just by looking at him” [View 13 previous replies] nervousballer: “@da.real.beer.nerd doubt it tbh, give it a listen” da.real.beer.nerd (me): “@nervousballer I did. It sounds like every single other mumbling, low energy, piece of shit track I've heard blasting from cars in NYC for the past decade. Modern hip hop is less distinct than modern pop music, and that's a hard bar to go under”

Instagram phone notification. anish280q replied to your comment on theadamfriedlandshow's post: “@da.real.beer.nerd assisted living center down the hall”

Typically I’m not an old man yelling at cloud kind of guy. If I don’t get what the kids are into, I happily accept that it’s not for me, and move along with my day. The exception is modern hip-hop. The fact that kids think it slaps pisses me off

Bobby Witt Jr flashing some insane leather. I missed you baseball

As it stands now, I don’t think Robert Krafts and ultra-Zionist sphere of influence are paying her a whole lot of mind right now, even though she is actually playing by their “criticism of Israel is anti-Semitism” book… because that’s where her criticism comes from, a deep seated hatred of Jews

American Jews didn’t fight alongside Black Americans for basic civil rights so that Candace Owens could turn her back on the latter to advocate for the universal elimination of the former. If we were truly as powerful as she thinks she’d have been killed a long time ago

Dear merciful Lord, Candace Owens has been almost completely on a Jew hating bender ever since Charlie Kirk got got. She’s so pathetic she probably hates Jack Hughes for his maternal ancestry (but probably wraps it in valid points about misogyny)

A match between Brazilian soccer clubs Cruzeiro and Atlético Mineiro, with 12 red cards given to Cruzeiro and 11 reds given to Atlético, all in the 90+17th minute

Tag yourself, I’m “Fágner”

I commandeered the high score name entry from a person playing a World’s Largest Pac-Man Machine. I put in “ASS” as my name but it automatically changed to “PINKY.” We used to be a proper country

If I had a nickel for every time I applied IRL events to Porky’s villain speech in Mother 3, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice

A screenshot from Mother 3. Porky Minch, a fat, old, pale man, speaks to a group of characters. Porky: “Ahahaha. I'll admit, that is kind of sad.”

Porky’s speech continued from the first image. “Porky: But I would be crushed under the weight of boredom if it were any other way.”

Donald Trump upon being told he may have started World War III:

Think I’m gonna take another indefinite break from the ‘Sky while all this death hopefully dies down (no pun intended). Don’t be bloodthirsty now

Congrats to Tommy Talarico for winning his Texas Democratic primary for the US Senate. Idk why he decided to go into politics with such a credible record of theft but it’s a game without honor, more than ever now

Having your life together is the true AIDS of our time