The Cold Dude

Award winning new slogan "you know all those locked up shelves? There will actually be somebody in the store who has the key to open them"

"A few years"

I aspire to live a life where speaking honestly about my actions does not cause people to hate me

If I think they should get rid of the Student Aid Index and just whoever does a FAFSA gets enough Pell Grant to cover their degree, and this hot babe thinks SAI is a good way to ensure the grant money only goes to people who need it, that wouldn't put me off dating her, no. Is that what we mean?

Whenever I see this question it always seems to omit something fairly crucial: what I am to understand by the phrase "align with politically"

He doesn't know what the word means and is just repeating a term he heard in 300 or some shit. Whether that is better or worse is an exercise for the viewer

when I rewatched The Wire, HBO Max decided I wanted to watch season 2 episode 2 only. I'd be on season 3 episode 9, and it would cue up season 2 episode 2 for me to watch next. I had to back out to manually select the next episode, every single episode for the entire show. Infuriating!

I kind of gravitate to positive/redemptive reviews as a reflex against the petabytes of nerdrage slop out there, but someone who wants to rehabilitate Starfield is gonna wanna try a bit harder than that

I've just had an amazing idea

I notice that the "dangerous thrill of transgression" never applies to "robbing a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser to give the loot to a trans youth group" but making a point of saying "Oriental" and going tee hee you were talking about rugs.

I saw a comment on the NEXUS for a MOD that was like "no updates in 2 years, guess this mod is dead" it was a cloud mod! it added clouds! what "updates" does it need???

why don't the eagles simply fly the oil to mordor

Look, the oil is all going to just end up going through pipes anyway right? So just make a longer pipe that goes all the way to the oil well. Just skip the redundant "put it on a boat" step entirely. Cut out the middleman.

I'm concerned that, due to the innate superiority of males, my daughter won't get first place in the gymnastics competition

And Cornholio... THE ALL KNOWING!!!!!

It'll be funny if they all switch back to wearing normal size shoes because everyone will know why. It'll also be funny if they keep wearing the bullshit shoes. There's no dignified way out of this

Screencap of the Tom Jones / The Cardigans cover of Burning Down The House official video on youtube. I deliberately chose a frame from one of the many extreme close ups of Tom Jones where he looks completely deranged and insane, specifically one where his bright blue eyes are wide open, to complement the following mystifying passage from the comments section, also in the screencap: "I was exploited my whole life by blue eyed people. Because I love blue eyes. And blue eyes people know, that there are other people who love blue eyes."

Youtube comments section never changes

Hell yeah let's do this. Maximum stove baby. How hard do you believe the world's most prolific liar when he says there are no mines in the Strait of Hormuz.

Darth Cellardoor

And you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house." And you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife." What this book presupposes is... maybe they are?

Thermometer in my car reading 86F

It isn't easter yet

"If you vote republican we pledge to mutilate children at scales you can barely conceive of"

If you assassinate a country's leader, kill hundreds of children and bomb them so hard the entire sky is obscured by black smoke, surely you've moved into war territory. Surely there's a threshold. JD Vance is probably enthusiastically discussing this on twitter. What else would he be doing.

It's bugging me that they keep saying "war" but because the president legally can't go to war without congress they occasionally do this shitty little "I'm not touching you" move where they call it a military action and not a war. Do we not have a specific definition of what is and isn't a war yet

To quote the Bard, "where's Wallace? Where the boy, String?"

the same image, with the text edited to say "i'm so fucked up", a reference to the evangelion scene with a palmful of regret

A screenshot of youtuber hbomberguy from one of his videos where he plays a clip of Ben Shapiro saying if sea levels rise people on the coast will simply sell their houses and move, and hb hacks through a wall with an axe like in The Shining, sticks his head through and says "SELL THEIR HOUSES TO WHO"

IT'S NOT COLLATERAL DAMAGE IF YOU'RE AIMING AT THEM BEN

What's tater tots, precious. What's tater tots, eh?

“Dead Internet” doesn’t begin to describe the necrotic efflorescences we see today