Bread and Rosie

I might have been able to assemble some of the men I've dated at a push.

Many years ago I was discussing phobias with a friend in a hotel bar & she said hers was clowns & then when we came down to the hotel lobby next morning there was a clown convention & it took me all day to convince her that I neither would nor could organise a clown convention at 8 hours' notice.

Ceci n'est pas un sharp edge.

"The paw print tattoo you already have can be a memorial tattoo for Dillie"

Lmao nice try Mum, I'm getting a new tattoo

I am very sad but I am being looked after and fussed by my mum.

I'm biased but she absolutely was.

Small grey and cream not very stripy tabby cat with white chin, white whiskers and green eyes looking at camera sitting on far side of round grey cat bed with tail curled around near side of cat bed

Extreme close up of face of grey and cream tabby cat with cream patches around eyes like eyeliner, pink nose pressed to edge of white crisp packet POV: You're trying to eat crisps within earshot of Dillie

Small grey and cream tabby cat curled up on white sheet with pink floral pattern on sofa, one front paw resting on my forearm

Grey and cream tabby cat with fluffy cream tummy lying on back with paws tucked in towards body, tail to one side, looking to camera on white sheet with pink floral pattern on red sofa

Dillie died peacefully at home today. I was with her. I'm heartbroken that she's gone but I was so lucky to have had her in my life for as long as I did. She was the sweetest girl and she was so, so loved. 💖

You know the best way to kill AI? Don't use it. Don't buy it. Don't share it. Don't give the people who use it your labour or your money.

No matter how mean anyone is to me on Bluesky, I can rest assured that I will never again be as elaborately and comprehensively owned as the time I was filmed for an episode of Kids Say The Funniest Things and then cut from the show.

Since that fateful day my life has been, in many ways, one ongoing endeavour to say The Funniest Thing.

Cyclists only ever turn across traffic to spite drivers. The fact it gets us to where we're going is a happy coincidence.

I'm the exception that proves the rule.

🙁

I am simultaneously both worst types of coffee drinker (except the "weird opinions on strangers' coffee orders" type): I either want a pink soy latte with ultra sugary flavoured syrup, squirty cream & sprinkles or the strongest, shortest double espresso you can muster. Absolutely nothing in between.

I used to work for Royal Mail and I genuinely didn't know that us being told to prioritise parcels at the cost of letters was a secret.

He hasn't had his (cheap as) chips just yet!

(This pun does not work but there was An Attempt.)

There's something weirdly timeless about Bargain Hunt. It's very difficult to date the episodes - a lot of them could have been filmed anytime between yesterday and 1995.

No matter how mean anyone is to me on Bluesky, I can rest assured that I will never again be as elaborately and comprehensively owned as the time I was filmed for an episode of Kids Say The Funniest Things and then cut from the show.

me, an intellectual: every heard of separating the art from the artist?

them, a judge: once again, it’s called theft.

Ours mostly do but not all of them and sometimes they turn them off. Which is spectacularly unhelpful.

lede to an irish times article about Harry and Meghan by Patrick Freyne.

A reminder that in 2021, @patrickfreyne.bsky.social wrote the best explanatory lede regarding colonialism and monarchy that I have ever seen. www.irishtimes.com/culture/tv-r...

This was always doomed as a method of gaining a competitive advantage because, despite the tomatoes being judged on their measurable physical attributes such as mass, the judges were recompensed in tomatoes and the doped tomatoes were revolting.

Where I used to work, there was an annual tomato-growing competition. I was an official tomato judge until the competition had to be abandoned in the wake of The Great Tomato-Doping Scandal of 2013 (someone got imported genetically modified seeds that grew solid flesh tomatoes.)

Stop 👏 having 👏 unrealistic 👏 body 👏 standards 👏 for 👏 camels 👏

I did not. Whose side are you on.

(I absolutely did.)

In my first semester of uni, I got a text from my parents to say that they had finished my bottle of Jack Daniels and then were surprised when I said they weren't supposed to drink *MY* liquor while *I* was out of town.

It did not escape my notice and nor did it escape the notice of the barista who had to make my ludicrous drink all over again.

The only time I have noticed was when I ordered a very frou frou drink (I was on holiday & feeling extra) & the barista served it & said "Rosie!" & before I got to it a guy picked it up & took a big slurp, then claimed he thought it was his. And then his drink was an americano & his name was David.

Ngl, I laughed a lot when the letters on the sign fell off so it became the C LONEL KILL

(Images as in quoted post to add alt text)

I can't prove it but I am 100% convinced that the people who got cross with me and tried to make me delete that post that they didn't like/understand even though other people liked and understood it yell at customer service workers.