Amy Probably

umm actually, neutrality means you're choosing the side of the milk hotel

im scared by a lot of stuff. which is why im allowed to decide who lives& dies

Live fast and die within ten miles of where you were born

a drawing of a monk wearing dark glasses and rolling dice at a table

gambling monk, germany, 15th century

My parents were at the table doing a puzzle and I walked by and my dad said “you know this would go a lot faster if you chipped in.”

Men really think to themselves “don’t worry, I am surely the exemption in this case.”

Housey from House Our Neighbors is going to be invited to someone’s wedding someday

Your honor, the monkey handcuffed itself TO ME not the other way around

A fate worse than death isn't too bad for a guy like me.

cymbal-banging monkey toy

this is how i look when i’m liking your posts

They only give you Daylight Savings if youve been deemed naughty by Santa Claus

Whenever someone tells me I HAVE to watch a funny video and they pull up a tik tok I never laugh

started chatting and walking together. I guess I just wanted to say that life is beautiful and funny.

On my walk today I saw a bunch of teenagers leaving their sports practice. A girl tripped on the sidewalk a bit and glared behind her making eye contact with a boy who said “I didn’t see anything”. She snarked back “you liar you better not say anything.” as she fell in line next to him and they

Based on historical records and declassified documents, there are several instances where anarchists were falsely blamed for violence that was later attributed to state agents or informants in order to frame anarchist movements as violent extremists.

My boss keeps telling me to use AI for things and I keep just going “hm.” And turning away from him whenever he mentions it and I can tell it hurts his feelings without ruining my job security but eventually he will give in and ask me why I refuse to use it and then it will be over for him

Like my mother before me I inherited poor self esteem and incredible whimsy

Okay but I want to see who wins Tour de France if they were all forced to compete on tandem bikes in pairs

my phone battery has not remained above 70% for the past several days. some would say this is really good for its lifespan, but i believe this is really bad for people who enjoy larger numbers

eyeing everyone in the room (i poke them in the eyes)

I have a lot of enemies. Personal and political. Chiefly among those are the trees who are even thinking about pollen

When horses are in movies do they know they’re being underpaid?

get on this hog an lets ride into the sunset

Bunch of birds. Hoping that Shirley will identify them for me.

They haven’t let me into their clique yet

I have a doppleganger who hangs out in Roosevelt. If you see her tell her I’m the OG

i wish we had group chats so i could link one of my posts and say "juice this shit" and get ignored

I am also handing out checkmarks. I have a large sharpie and if I like you I’ll draw a huge checkmark on your forehead so others know you’re legit

im omw. just like in general

omg productivity deflation

happy birthday if it’s your birthday. If it’s not well fuck you!!