you draw up that ad for amtrak?
sure did boss, diarrhea money shot just like you asked
10.03.2026 20:09
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you draw up that ad for amtrak?
sure did boss, diarrhea money shot just like you asked
Clock that shows the “feels like” time
M: Bond, meet agent Fupa Blumpkin. She’s on loan to us from BND headquarters in Berlin.
JB: Tell me, Ms. Blumpkin, is your at-home toilet a one seater or two?
FB: Charming, Mr. Bond. So it’s true: Not even my upper pubic area is as fat as your head.
Please, Mrs. Jenkem is my mother. You can call me Blumpkin.
…and this is my daughter, Blumpkin Jenkem.
race horse named Was The Grink There
Taking off my wedding ring before my haircut at Sports Clips
My name is Leif E. Griens
Hopping back on here after being away to ask what the fuck is going on with these Draft Kings ads on Hulu?? Uncanny Valley between porn and a high school football players shitty video project for Spanish class
Taking off my wedding ring before my haircut at Sports Clips
i've been collecting html in a big folder
Scientists have constructed 3D replicas of what the 5 Guys from 5 Guys Pizza probably looked like
Competing Netflix and Hulu documentaries about the Louvre heist dropping next week.
Toilet paper at work starting to look like Mickey Mouse’s thin bean sandwich.
I just invented global warming for dogs. I’m tentatively calling it “dog global warming”
One of my concubines just described herself as a ‘Shane Gillis republican’. How did she even learn about him, comedy is strictly forbidden in the harem
everybody squirts . the government is lying to you . and its not just piss either its like some other shit that we dont even know the scientific affects of
it's so fucked up they just named him Goofy, what hope did he ever have
Would “Oppenheimer” still have won the Oscar if it ended with “Vertigo” from U2’s How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb as the end credits needle drop?
Saw a guy walk up this spigot, hold his hand underneath, intentionally dispense hot water on his hand, say “ahhh fuck!” and walk off shaking his hand vigorously. I can’t stop thinking about this
A femme Garfield with long purple hair tied in a ponytail, wearing Doom guy armor and holding a gun and helmet.
Sure here’s a femme Doom Garf from da past
I could never kill someone in cold blood. We have a no cold blood policy down at the killing factory I’m employed at. We’re very socially conscious like that
Yellow m&m is stupid? Peanut in his brain. Yellow m&m is constipated? Peanut in his bowels. The peanut is fucking his whole shit up
There's a Dollar General in the background of every live news report.
That flight path is tired. Sheep planes all doing the same thing. Wow you’re descending toward the airport I can’t believe it how’d you think of that
My daughter’s tamagotchi just evolved into a man???
The Adventures of Pete & Pete - Season 2, Episode 3: The Call
me & the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the sword & the stone, and using a toyota and some chains to pull it from the stone resulted in the Toyota becoming the new king of england
The Beatles jacking off one last time together after the rooftop concert and then going their separate ways like oceans 11