Pretty remarkable that in an organization which underwent horrible humiliation and embarrassment under Sepp Blatter and has decades and decades worth of corruption under its belt that somehow Gianni Infantino will go down as its single worst President
The Rapture is in the news again, I see. Get caught up. (Caught up. Rapture term.)
The Department of War regretfully informs you your husband has died lethalitymaxxing in Operation Epic Furry
Fuck, they’re going to put Riley Gaines in charge.
What’s he doing? He’s the FCC head he knows you’re not allowed to slob on the knob on television
Just a real shame that Donald Trump would sully the good name of the FIFA Peace Prize
They sure are entitled alright
The best part of the Team USA cleanup effort today was Tage Thompson explaining he wanted to go to the White House because he'd never get that opportunity again in his life. A very honest assessment of the Buffalo Sabres unfortunately
Team USA gold medal figure skater Amber Glenn rips Magic: The Gathering packs during the 2026 Winter Olympics closing ceremony https://kotaku.com/amber-glenn-mtg-2026-winter-olympics-ceremony-figure-skater-2000673209
knuck if you Hellebuyck
Roger Craig is Davenport, Iowa’s favorite son I would’ve gladly been irrational if he didn’t make it in the Hall of Fame this year
She got punted from NBC and turned into such a vampire that she makes Piers Morgan seem like a reasonable person
“Kill kill” and “easy easy” are also functionally different things in pre-snap and he knows that
Counterpoint: Fallen Kingdom is one of the most hilarious movies I’ve ever seen
Amber Glenn, a queer Texan who started ice skating at the stonebriar mall in frisco at age 5, who plays magic the gathering, is an olympic gold medalist
mr president thakn you sir for the last 24 hours of trying to end air travel in this country, attempting to raid the treasury of billions of dollars to line your own pockets and smearing the man your secret police summarily executed in the streets in broad day light
dude if he does the coin toss and dies on the spot and collapses like a sack of rotten onions I’ll convert to a religion tonight
I don’t really know what Oregon’s doing offensively right now it doesn’t make a lick of sense
this is what they leave folded on the coffins of stripper cops who die in the line of duty
A decade ago I got in a relationship with someone.
Literally the night after we decided to be exclusive I was walking into her apartment with her. She grabbed her mail, saw there was a “Bernie 2016” mailer on top and went, “ew gross” and threw it in the trash.
I started going Gob Bluth one day in
That first Nazgûl who lost Frodo right outside the Shire fucking choked
I really think that even most people who think language policing was a huge problem over the past 5-10 years have no patience for the disgusting little freaks who have tried to bring back "retarded" as a slur. It's just so low-rent and such a tell that the person using it is not worth your time
Sign on a library book drop sign requesting people to yell "NOT A SQUIRREL" to confirm they are human and not a squirrel trying to steal Keith's lunch.
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
Free speech is more than me being allowed to say what I want. Everyone also has to like it and tell me I'm a smart and handsome boy
This seems like the kind of place Ric Flair would pass out in at 10:47 AM
I also got to drink from the erupting Chalice of Life
There’s a guy in Margaritaville playing a cover of Pink Pony Club and yeah bro I love Hangman Adam Page too
#NoKings Miami!
