(I’m not even a Mario)

Too bad I have this whole gimmick

Daylight savings is a Masonic conspiracy

This is because white claw had not been invented yet.

Listen I’m happy for you but you gotta keep that shit to yourself

Thank you finally someone is making sense

Ok but how are they related?

What

What

Ok good

No that’s not real it only exists in video games

Without fail, when someone begins telling me how long they have been a parishioner at my parish, they are actually telling me they haven’t been to Mass in years.

Putting money into stonks for the first time. When does my complimentary mustache wax arrive?

No notes

Triple smash burger. Two beers. Day off.

It’s morally wrong to make fiber gummies taste so delicious.

Wake me up when you find someone who isn’t a fascist and isn’t pro-abortion.

lol funny to see that AOC is Catholic Bluesky’s mark wahlberg

Last evening felt better after ibuprofen and a quick nap. Today I am anxiety and rage.

Late night Sheetz run on fat Tuesday

My brain is a mushy meatball of pain.

🫡

Giving up the zyn (velo brand usually)

Started 40 minutes ago and already feeling angry.

🥳

The juice is stored in the heart

That’s right

I defrosted two burgers. I cooked two burgers. I ate two burgers.

Oh no these two parts of my life are not supposed to intersect

Good.