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28.01.2025 06:34
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If your Tesla get stolen, does it become an Edison?
100 yo dead Jimmy Carter is still a better POTUS than Trump
One must imagine Sisyphus righteously paid.
Is this guy John Wick?
Oh great, the riches came up with a new word for “multiple jobs to survive”
*During sex*
– Hurt me
– How many years of student loan yet?
– That’s not what I me…
– Still convinced Musk is a genius?
– Stop it!
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg can’t help us anymore
– Hippopotamus! HIPPOPOTAMUS!!
Well, you can still have a second one.
They probably sell something similar at Starbucks
The last one is the worse
“Wow, have you lost weight?”
“Yes, thanks, it’s depression!”
“Awesome!”
“Right?”
In Italy they call them “vecchidemmerda” (shittyoldpeople).
A tourist village with only a library and a coloring station and unlimited drinks
No, sir, I don’t want cinnamon ginger spicy chocolate sprinkles in my coffee, do I look that happy?
“I would like two beers and a gun”
“How old are you, son?”
“17”
“Sorry, can’t sell you beer”
They don’t believe that a century of toxic waste, fumes and plastic changed the planet’s climate but say you don’t believe that a guy made the whole universe in a week and they lose their shit.
Who here agrees? 🖐🏾
There’s massive worldwide super-secret conspiracy between governments and pharmaceutical to inject you with vaccines and chemicals and 5G but thank goodness Kevin from Louisiana discovered everything with a thorough google search.
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens theonion.com/no-way-to-pr...
No
Yes
No
No
Yes
No
I hope this email finds you dead
“I’ve done my own research”
“Dude you just bought alcaline water claimed to balance your system’s pH”
This is some fucked up shit.
Off topic: are people often disappointed when you show up for an appointment somewhere for the first time?
Hi, I’m the greatest billionaire of the solar system, I just bought myself a POTUS, can I have a tax break?
