*hugs*
18.08.2025 16:08
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*hugs*
I've overslept. head is killing me, I haven't eaten properly or had any water is ages. I take my meds and leave for work in long clothing, and smile brightly at everyone
everyone has been in such a great mood today
letting mania have me instead in hopes I'll tire out my body
my oh my that doesn't take much does it? wasn't that why we're down here anyways?
mania wants to hurt me, mania is not a friend
trying and trying and trying to put on the brakes and be careful, trying to find ways to ground myself and keep myself safe
oh you silly thing, we planned for years for this, you have ways nearby, close, even right next to you at all times
slipping and slipping
eating and eating and eating to try to stop the spiraling until I get sick and feel even worse and suddenly I realize I'm purging again and feel even worse and spiral is going faster and faster and faster and I feel the grip loosening and slipping back away to the depths
I've been flipping between mania and being passively suicidal again for a few months now and I desperately need to get it off my chest, so I'll hide it here! :3c
I miss the start of the summer when I was happy
dunno why that was such a peak, but I miss a whole lot
I don't want to be sad anymore
I want someone to hit me to make me stop swearing, mostly because it'll just be a constant string of "ow, fuck"
porple thing
what the cat doin
okay
hånk hånk
oh wow that's so cool >w<
that's so cool! I like dykes :3
wanting to share my sorrows with the stars and only being met with more daylight
Smug princess and her pet sister~
sounds like a slushie, and people like slushies
I miss night time. I miss the moon and the stars.
I really need to scream into the void
I am also a jackass dyke
play symphonies with the sinews of the soul
I'd sure love to be around and experience things, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to live as much as I'd like
had my genetically assigned cancer at like 10 years old, so there's still lots of time to get it again
apart from the ruined lungs, poor heart, and absolutely abused guts, there's also the funny connective tissue garbage and an absolutely rotting, abused, terribly compartmentalized brain
having been confronted with my own mortality again I've ended up thinking way too much about how short of a time I'll likely be around for
like the whole "didn't expect to see 20" thing from poor mental health aside, my physicality leaves lots to be desired
dysphoria about the fact that humans don't have any blinking lights or glowing bits
hehe selfcest hehe~
I don't think I'd mind being copied around on floppy disks, but we'd certainly also just be identical individuals :3
fair enough! I wonder how it would feel to meet oneself in a different body tho :3
just in time for >w< :3 ^u^ *glomps* and whatever else uwu
