Elbridge Colby, UnderSecWar / Yale JD (satire)

Given he’s sending the marine landing forces, what are the odds of some sort of land invasion?

“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time.”

Uh, he was talking about, um, not having quarters at the arcade. And how that’s a real bummer. Yeah, that’s the line we’ll go with at The Hague.

Don’t forget the troops whose lives will be lost.

This is how you own the libs! Kinda like how I could have a modeling career because I have a face but the luxury brands don’t actually like my face so won’t hire me.

Just because every war game of the last 30 years showed this happening doesn’t mean anything…

Only ultra wealthy people could pull off something like this and we don’t let billionaires do that kind of thing in our system. Even if we did, they’re honorable people who would never rig the system for personal gain.

Good thing Kash’s eyes can see in multiple directions at the same time.

Right, just like Trump intends to announce his health care plan in about two weeks.

Elbridge Over Troubled Waters Elbridge Colby, a longtime critic of military adventurism in the Middle East, has contorted himself into a champion of Trump’s new war in the Middle East.

Whipping boy is a term of affection right? Like, everyone needs one and they provide an important service?

puck.news/how-elbridge...

Can’t we just attach a couple hundred drones and fly the ships over?

High AF on hopium.

I’m sure Jared Kushner will have it figured out by the morning. Just like the time he solved peace in the Middle Easy over a long weekend and still had time for some jet skiing and pickleball.

The Defense Dept is ridiculous but we might need a little more detail on this one. Most of this was prob frozen and could have been for months in the future. FOR a department with 1.3M active and 400K reserves, the math per trooper means it *might* not be crazy. The real $ is the weapons systems.

Total shame, and very rude to boot.

Don’t worry, he’ll be releasing his health care plan in about two weeks.

True, and mimes at sea are just the absolute WORST.

Mimes at sea are the WORST.

Mimesweeper?

Mimes in the Straits, ye gods! Have no fear, the Department of War is *on* it like a Tomahawk on a grade school!

People need to chill out about Iran’s mimes in the Strait of Hormuz. I can assure you we at the Department of War are tracking *all* mimes and developing plans to counter them with extreme prejudice.

Pretty sure you can also stop the actions of a lawless president by other means. Like removing them from office per impeachment and conviction.

But He did also do the “weave” with some of his more abstruse parables for there’s that.

Hawk tuah, as they say.

Yep, the good ol’ “war is peace” argument. Works every time.

Diamond hands!

Yeah but this chart is to the MOON!

Just turn the channel to FoxNews and, voila, the hat magically disappears.