but this is a wonderfully bleak “Watch this ad sponsored by ads” moment that doesn’t even have like a hint of irony
13.03.2026 14:55
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but this is a wonderfully bleak “Watch this ad sponsored by ads” moment that doesn’t even have like a hint of irony
*mickey rourke barfly voice* TO ALL MY FANS!
I'm convinced this is purely because of doing it early but I'll take my space-and-Wentworth Miller related wins. Vulture Cinematrix No. 716: Mar 12, 2026
I got 9/9 Correct
Score: 2671
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Play at:
vulture.com/vulturecinem...
films only a fool plays in cine2nerdle that leads to mutually assured destruction as the lockout:
-Polytechnique*
-The Evil Dead
-Buried**
*unless you are aggressively Canadian
**you cannot argue Red Lights, no normal person has ever seen Red Lights. I had to even wonder if I ever saw Red Lights
Cine2nerdle and the Cinematrix bring out my worst tendencies but have remapped me into this sub-par entry. Vulture Cinematrix No. 715: Mar 11, 2026
I got 9/9 Correct
Score: 2463
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Play at:
vulture.com/vulturecinem...
In the best and worst way it’s like Uncle Kent 2’s poster being willed into unironic existence
“What happens in this one”
“Oh, stuff.”
(which one am I? the cool guy.)
...also realized I can technically claim I'm on Dropout dot tv thanks to osmosis (and being the only person near Nick Kroll's height so I had to stay later)
just imagine now 3/4 of these people probably have problematic politics or strong opinions about taxes
the biggest jumpscare I had recently was during nirvanna he band the show the movie when this played unedited because I truly forgot the "fuck" and anyway here it is at the place that used to have an olmec out the front office www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMuR...
MONKEY PUNCH IS THE NOTABLE CREATOR OF LUPIN THE THIRD AND THAT'S WHY *shot in the neck with a dart, jumped by multiple people and dragged back into the shadows of the internet*
me, growing increasingly distrustful of the instagram algorithm in relation to cat facts: I don’t think these are real
Instragram: we’re not run by your cat also if she gives you paw she triple loves you feed her more
Me: …well.
Cat: *just does unhinged shit, fucks up shit. Raises paw slowly*
…it’s as cool as I hoped
I almost bought a replica of the countdown timer watch and realized sometimes you just have to kill your urges no matter how cool you’d be to yourself at 11.
There is no escaping The Ice Pirates. If you try to or know the out you’re the weirdest person on the internet and shouldn’t admit it
if anyone ever traps you in Cine2nerdle on The Ice Pirates with Ron Perlman you have to accept defeat it’s an unwritten rule
maybe you need to watch jade or else the ghost of friedkin won’t rest
idk it’s pretty great out of no where we’re bringing back foot binding because he keeps guessing wrong shoe sizes and grown adults wear them out of fear
this is somehow the same ability I have with going “guess I’ll just put some Brakhage films on for a few hours”
I’m pretty sure I’m going to wind up finding the new version of The Ring or the thing from Censor. Or the sugar monster or whatever this is
because of a recent thread I’ve become obsessed once more with finding only the purest of AI ad slop. I have no healthy hobbies.
Tried The Master twice and I was wrong! Vulture Cinematrix No. 714: Mar 10, 2026
I got 7/9 Correct
Score: 2044
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Play at:
vulture.com/vulturecinem...
it is now canon that no matter what you've been liked for a thousand years but they've moved on and now have a family in whistler www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qDS...
yeah and it never replays on basic cable or in general. it's a wild lost Sundance film
ehrlich and ehrlichdog driving off into the sunset of memes from over 15 years ago as we all lived in happier times
legally distinct and no one can claim it is not endorsed by all those involved
I was unaware until tonight the Indiecar race was also owned by Penske so that means the race is brought to us by Indiewire
frankly I thought my KIN/Predestination combo were the biggest one but I had to then give all that up for a Fant4stic slot
yeah, zeroes and ones I completely forgot about