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Hare Lockwood

@harecomedy

She/her. Comedian & writer; queer autistic nerd; spreadsheets enthusiast; Mark Watson's official cartographer. Free, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social πŸ“ Writer for @thedailytism.com https://linktr.ee/harelockwood

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08.07.2023
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Latest posts by Hare Lockwood @harecomedy

Imagine being the only tart in the slagroom.

10.03.2026 22:00 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Oh dear, did sport happen?

10.03.2026 21:30 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

In a challenging week, five good things from today:

1. Went on a bracing walk in the wind and rain
2. Got writing piece#1 to 90% done
3. Was honest about how I'm feeling (crap)
4. Enjoyed silliness & laughter with a bunch of pals
5. Held a wall sit for 10 godawful, eternal seconds

10.03.2026 21:20 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

*high five* Exact experience.

10.03.2026 20:56 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yes! Eeeeee. πŸ—ΊοΈ

10.03.2026 18:01 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

The phrase "minors" now makes me cringe, mostly thanks to fandom ... cack.

10.03.2026 18:01 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

And I can't imagine how that's feeling, mate. πŸ’œ

10.03.2026 15:39 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's such a good book! I'm glad other people can explain it. As it's been my only experience of the world, it takes effort for me to remember that for most people, daily sounds/sights/smells/etc. *don't* cause them pain and they're probably not hurting me deliberately.

10.03.2026 15:34 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"We're frightened of adults and it's your fault for existing" cool, ok... no.

10.03.2026 14:59 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

(person existing)

Is this a threat?

10.03.2026 14:47 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Wow. WOW.

10.03.2026 14:47 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I have made a map for a fandom thing and it's SO MUCH FUN oh my god maps πŸ₯°

10.03.2026 13:57 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Map map map map! 🀩

10.03.2026 13:57 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Booooooo

10.03.2026 13:55 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

😍 map

MAP

10.03.2026 13:46 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I am genuinely so happy that it doesn't cause you any pain. πŸ’œ May you always enjoy it. (Far from me.)

10.03.2026 13:23 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
A green book with the title "50 ways to kill a slug"

A green book with the title "50 ways to kill a slug"

Just tip out the salt, Walt. Step down with your shoe, Hugh.

10.03.2026 13:09 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Yes. YES. 🀝 It's so awful.

10.03.2026 10:50 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Also, I love that there are animal documentaries which cover all these options but this is specifically about dinosaurs.

10.03.2026 10:06 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Oh, doomed herbivore all the way

10.03.2026 10:04 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

πŸ’œ

10.03.2026 09:47 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I am delighted for you! It feels like I'm being stabbed in the ears. 😭

10.03.2026 09:37 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I have just caught up on this, and I just want to say: whistling.

1. Anyone making that sound with their face should have their face stapled shut
2. It literally makes me curl over in pain
3. Why is it socially acceptable? If I went "HHARRRRRRRR" at the same volume people would tell me to shut up!

10.03.2026 09:09 πŸ‘ 37 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 2

Saw the phrase 'Dogs For Autism' and misunderstood just long enough to assume that a group of them had taken a really positive political stance.

10.03.2026 08:10 πŸ‘ 27 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

😭

09.03.2026 19:21 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Awww!

09.03.2026 18:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Absolutely beautiful work.

09.03.2026 18:27 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

That's the kind of thinking that lead me to a linguistics degree.

09.03.2026 18:24 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

The AUDACITY.

09.03.2026 18:00 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I got as far as "all the leaves are green / and the skin is brown" before I realised I couldn't make pineapple scan properly. (Truly, a skill I do not have.)

09.03.2026 17:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0