JP Prince

I accidentally sprang back this weekend and now I’m unmoored from time

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his substack depends on his not understanding it".

Is this anything

Wet Hot American Fort Sumter

Alamo it when I see it

Very excited to have found a place at the airport that has “chef-inspired menus.” Love to eat food inspired by… the idea of making food.

Work it, make it
Do it, makes us

Harder, better
Potlood, houder

Work trip. Infinitely worse than putt putt.

I was just at SLC (sprinting through it, as per usual), so naturally I was curious, and apparently one of these BKs is… at the Park and Wait Lot?

Man SLC park and wait got a BK and all we got at CVG is a Porta Potty.

DL2149 CVG>SLC

I had the fish.

The rice was starchy; the mushrooms, unenthusiastic.

The salmon was room temperature, but the spinach beneath contained the heat of one thousand suns.

In place of a Cheese Board, you would have CRUDITÉS!

Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn!

Seasoned with Maldon Sea Salt!

More flavorful than the foundations of the earth!

All shall eat me, and despair!

Sauron's latest return a lot weaker than his previous iterations

A screenshot of a conversation with Delta via iMessage. The Delta bot has helpful. Let me know that the wait time for a representative is nine minutes, but that it’s very important that I respond within five minutes. I then ask what the hell that means. No response.

*upside down face*

Niceness is a desire.

Kindness is a duty.

“Sorry I’m a believer and get riled up about the snow”

All time nonsequitur.

Did you know that strawberries are not berries, and are actually mammals?

Bluesky was literally meant to be a cryptobro social network for grifters, LinkedIn sludge, and libertarians who know way too much about age of consent laws.

Jack Dorsey *left* when instead of weird and off-putting cryptonerds, trans people started hanging out here.

Molly Lambert @mollylambert I respect the moon's unwillingness to be photographed on a phone 12:31 PM • 12/12/19 • Twitter Web App 59.5K Retweets 294K Likes

Lance St. Laurent @LanceStLaurent When you see this blatant anti-moon propaganda, consider the source The Sun @TheSun • Jan 18, 2019 'Super blood wolf moon' may trigger end of the world this weekend thesun.co.uk/news/8223896/s. 8:32 PM • Jan 20, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone 49.9K Retweets 493 Quote Tweets 238.7K Likes

Paul Ford v @ftrain When the moon hits your knees And you mispronounce trees Sycamore 5:14 AM • 2/27/18 • Twitter for Android 13.6K Retweets 37.3K Likes

dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted 10:18 PM - 29 Oct 2018

please enjoy these classic Moon Tweets™

An email header on mobile with the subject line "Attention Regarding Bug Found in Your Assets"

*Pulls the string on Woody's back*

"There's a bug in my assets!"

Little wing-ed potato…

*fully restores your HP as you scroll past*

John le Carré’s

A white Maine Coon loafing inside an Away suitcase, utterly preventing any packing activities.

All packed up and ready to go.

More like whatever that motel is in Control.

I submit that the tinny, smooth jazz acoustic guitar rendition of Watermelon Sugar played on select midwestern Delta flights before takeoff is the ultimate liminal musical experience.

And if you can surround it with 8 tiles, you get 9 points!

My last brain cell in the exam

Ah, yes Father Ado. I think he’s down at the parish.