TV's Adam, getting some buzzards involved,

what has anyone associated with this administration done or said at any point throughout this insane, murderous enterprise that would earn them the courtesy of saying this was done in error

this ain’t your daddy’s fda

(your daddy is a lunatic with rotted teeth who’s fighting off a raw milk-based bacterial infection with exercise and nutritional supplements while turning bright purple from ingesting colloidal silver)

the eggless mcmuffin

no meat

no cheese

put some butter on it yourself if you're looking to get fancy

sometimes i try to imagine how the FDA will handle the PR for pivoting back to employing science instead of the idea-shaped gunk scraped off facebook's undercarriage

i suspect it'll be like when domino's did a rebrand that was like "ok yeah we were dogshit before but it's way better now we promise"

i'm thinking about it RIGHT NOW

outstanding; i have some ideas about mines, spike traps, and snake pits that i think would really spruce up the place's aesthetic

if i were a democrat running for office i would already be putting this fact on billboards

if the intro to millionaire is playing in your head right now you're fucking *welcome*

what was i talking about

i'm straying far from the point now but god *damn* that record kicks ass

it's songs...for the deaf

*you can't even hear it*

anyway i have a very specific memory of playing suikoden 3 on the little tv with a built-in vhs in my dorm while listening to songs for the deaf on my iMac, and that's what i'd like to preserve from that era rather than the constant hypernationalist fearmongering of sociopathic war profiteers

i mean it was obvious bullshit back then too but holy shit at least they *tried*

how are you gonna trot out "freedom isn't free" without even trying to pretend the people we're exploding pose a threat to our freedom

i enjoyed the '00s as much as the next guy but my nostalgia does not extend to bullshit sloganeering in a flimsy effort to justify obviously immoral and greed-fueled bloodshed conducted by fascists in the middle east

it's mostly about, like, the PS2 and white pony

photo of my daughter having pulled herself up to stand using the chair I’m sitting in she’s looking at the camera and smiling she’s also holding one of my feet for support which I kind of wish she wasn’t but at least my socks are clean

standin

it’s a metaphor for fucking in a ufo

as speculation about his masking habits has surged, so has the loneliness epidemic

just a correlation?

consider what your educated guess reveals

my opinions belong in the newspaper

like is there a very vocal contingent of the party constantly demonstrating there is absolutely no bar a democratic candidate has to clear before earning their immediate and enthusiastic support

follow-up question: can their position be summed up in a catchy rhyming slogan

where on earth did this guy get the idea that literally any asshole can call himself a democrat and have his candidacy taken seriously despite anything he’s ever done or said

people don't play enough dragon quest and it's fueling the loneliness epidemic

put me in the fucking newspaper you cowards

the impeccable irony of complaining about "celebrating every stupid idea that crosses our minds" in a grandpa simpson-ass diatribe about overcomplicated coffee orders featured on the opinion page of the goddamned washington post

I will entertain a serious conversation about the potential uses for AI the very instant those uses no longer include theft, psychosis amplification and child porn

“it’s incorrect to say that LLMs can’t do anything well”

I agree; for example they are excellent at convincing troubled teenagers to kill themselves

blocking the guy criticizing people for blocking AI enthusiasts feels a little on the nose but, well, here we are

a man in a suit and tie is standing in a field with the words whats in the box behind him Alt: gif from the movie Seven where Brad Pitt's character is standing out in a barren field saying "What's in the box?" the text says "Whats in the box" with no apostrophe we all deserve better

it just would've been a very different movie is all i'm saying

come to think of it what if we gave the rich freaks their own little private enclosure in the real world as well

if they want an internet without people in it is there some way we can have real internet for normal humans and a fake internet for rich freaks to play around with and swap their imaginary money back and forth in their own little private enclosure where they can't hurt anyone

make republicans endorse him every single day

make your objection to his brazenly criminal administration’s steadfast dedication to ruining lives clear every single day

you know, so it looks like they love brazen criminality and ruining lives and you don’t

oh no are republicans going to call you obstructionist time-wasters

why are you not interested in obstructing and wasting the time of a government that spends every moment hurting people

I believed last time and believe even harder this time that impeachment should be introduced so frequently it might as well function as a congressional roll call

I can’t fathom an argument against it that isn’t rooted in apathy at best and acquiescence at worst

and then all the families each asked him where they could get one of those cool baseball caps