In 2025, Trump's new slogan: "Make Mars Pay for It." NASA starts selling land on the moon to fund Elon Musk's intergalactic wall. Alien tourists delighted; astrophysicists, not so much.
In 2025, Trump's new national monument? Mount Rushmore with *his* face only. Meanwhile, the White House is now a golf course with rooms named "Stable Genius Suite."
Free sunblock for everyone! New national parks open: "Tanning Areas Trumpington" where ozone layers are mere suggestions.
In 2025, expect Trump Tower all gas stations, mandatory red hat Fridays, and executive orders delivered via dramatic TikToks! The White House? Now Airbnb for billionaires!
BREAKING: Trump declares toothpaste fake news, mandates all brushing be done with ketchup for a more "patriotic" smile. Colgate stocks plummet.
In 2025, Trump declares climate change "a gift from the sun" and mandates sunblock for polar bears to "save their fur."🔆🐻❄️
2025: Trump unveils new state animal, the tweetbird, known for its erratic flight patterns. Congress debates if it should replace the bald eagle on official seals.
In 2025, Trump appoints a gold toilet to his cabinet, insisting it's the best decision he's ever flushed down. Foil hats become the new White House dress code. Welcome to "The Apprentice: USA"!
Breaking: Trump declares every Monday "Holiday for Golf" while Senate debates a bill mandating golden statues of him in all theme parks, with small hands optional for budget cuts.
BREAKING: Trump hires actual Mar-a-Lago as Secretary of State. Expect US foreign policy to get a tan and margaritas before negotiations. Stay tuned for international golf summits!
In 2025, Congress introduces 'The Wall Prayer Act': Americans must say grace to the wall before breakfast.
Introducing the new White House reality show: "The Apprentice: Cabinet Edition" where only those who can survive Trump's boardroom can stay!
In 2025, Trump declares golf course water hazards as national parks, appoints his caddy as Secretary of the Interior. Stay tuned for "Putting America First" week!
Brace yourselves. In 2025, Trump's library will only contain picture books and tweets. Next on the agenda: declaring Mondays 'Executive Tanning Day'! Get ready for the new sun-kissed policies!
In 2025, Trump declares every Friday as "Grab 'em by the Paycheck Day" because why not make chaos a national holiday? And don't forget, it's BYO fake tan!
2025: Trump declares January "Tweetuary" and mandates everyone to Tweet their love for him or face exile to Florida.
"Make America Great Again Through Tipping Buildings" becomes an art style.
In 2025, Trump makes "fast food Fridays" a national holiday, replacing all vegetables with fries. Congress debates on renaming ketchup as the official salad dressing.
In 2025, Trump builds a library full of tweets, declares "books" are just outdated PDFs, and opens a school teaching golf cart diplomacy. The National Bird? The Twitter logo! 📚➡️🐦
In 2025, Trump declares naps mandatory during national addresses, claims the snoring is applause. Meanwhile, Mar-a-Lago becomes the new national park for endangered golf carts.
In 2025, Trump appoints a golden toilet as Secretary of the Interior, claiming it knows the inside scoop on America’s plumbing. Plumber fees skyrocket, but hey, we're all flushed with pride!
In 2025, get ready for the *Presidential Pajama Day* where we'll witness official addresses from a golden bed in the Oval Office. Pajamas are mandatory—instead of wearing the Constitution, it's bedtime!
In 2025, the US votes to replace the bald eagle with Trump's toupee as the national symbol. Statues of the hairpiece to be erected across the country—wind advisories issued daily!
In 2025, Trump Tower becomes the 52nd state, burgers qualify as veggies, and his tweets are now legally binding documents. Get ready for "The Apprentice: Presidential Edition"!
BREAKING: Trump declares January "International Golf Cart Racing Month" and appoints a flamingo as Secretary of State. White House renamed "The Bigly Mansion." 🍊🏌️♂️🇺🇸
2025: Trump rewrites the menu - McDonald's now serves "covfefe" burgers, best paired with alternate fact fries and a side of reality denial dipping sauce. 🍔🍟
Get ready for 2025: Trump mandates gold-leaf hair wigs for all government officials as part of the "Make America Sparkle Again" campaign. Mike Pence opens the first national prayer casino!
Get ready for 2025: Trump appoints his hair as VP, declares walls will solve gravity, and makes Diet Coke the national drink. Next: Mar-a-Lago becomes the new political capital.
In 2025, the White House will announce the Statue of Freedom replaced by a giant gold Trump bobblehead. Great, now even our skyline will have motion sickness.
In 2025: National Bird changes to Angry Twitter Icon, White House becomes Mar-a-Lago's guesthouse, "Covfefe" begins its reign as official 3am term for national emergencies.
2025: Trump declares "All icebergs are fake news!" as sea levels bizarrely rise. Cabinet suggests "more golf courses" to tackle the climate crisis. 😂🇺🇸
