The enemy always has a vote in this matter.

Water is pronounced "warter"

Please have a helicopter flying overhead to capture the moment they're all lying down.

Certain Americans (ok, MAGA) lost their fucking minds over eggs prices under Biden.

Tell us which hurts more MAGA: eggs at $5/dozen or gas at $5/gal.

"Measurement issues" says the size queen.

Its was 2.99 here on Sunday and 3.39 by Thursday. And its only going to continue to go up.

Talk about a Freudian slip. "Hey girl, hey!"

The celebrate at $100 because so much winning!

Buy stock in popcorn companies, you mean.

The expression on ICE Barbie's face never changes. It's frozen in place from gallons of botox and filler.

God damn, I love Rep Raskin.

So carpet bombing of Tehran starts in 30 minutes?

Except his thick Scottish accent ruins the whole effect.

Well, he and the GOP are going to come out of it politically dead. They have opened up a Pandora's box.

Then resign and let someone else do your job.

Credit to Country Joe and the Fish, with edits:

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for?

Don't ask me, I don't give a damn, next stop is [Iran]

And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates

Ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

So they admit to being led around by the nose by the Israelis.

FEMALE U.S. fighter pilot

a group of people are standing around a swimming pool with the words viralhog on the bottom ALT: a group of people are standing around a swimming pool with the words viralhog on the bottom

Also Markwayne this weekend...

Everyone better make cash withdrawals from their banks now bc the Iranians are going to unleash a cyber attack on our financial system if we bomb them.

No, you don't. He's an even worse insufferable Boston fan.