BlobStar

You may see weeds,
but I see dandelion wishes

Embarrassed that the automatic paper towel dispenser didn’t wave back.

Pro tip: Get you a good headlamp and you don't even *need* to save daylight.

Bag of mini eggs and a vitamin tablet, breakfast of champions.

My grandma just now body checked me when I went to check on the muffins.

Apparently people won’t read anything written in the third person anymore.
She said despairingly.

A little box with a door and on the door are dinosaurs and inside the box are also dinosaurs.

Instead of a free little library someone in my town has a free dinosaur library, and that’s something I think more of you should know about.

The battery in the office clock has started to run down. We’ve all been staying later and later. This morning I arrived at work to find I hadn’t left.

When I came back to my computer there was a blue post-it that read: “I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE” That makes two of us.

all these people at this church wedding are wearing black and the groom is lying in a box and no one looks happy when i say “congratulations”

There’s a nice little storm happening & I can always appreciate that.

Oh, don't worry about me!

I'm fine...

...as long as I don't leave the house, read the news, listen to the radio, get on the internet, or answer the phone.

So, I'm fine, like, one day a week.

Sunset orange clouds of sunset over a blue sky, through the silhouettes of trees. Yesterday it snowed, today it’s 58. It’s not gonna last so as my father in law says, “get it while you can” (he was always talking about money, though)

Nice to be back on the deck today

All the videos of my son from when he was a toddler look like shaky, found footage reels of people chasing cryptids.

i’m no quantum mechanic but there's your problem, it's your glitches, they’ve got hiccups

Happy International Woman’s Day! 💪

Me and my twelve identical brothers are going to stand at different places around town and point at you from afar.

a pink orange and red sunset can be seen through bare trees standing on spotty snow with a hazy foggy hanging in the air

hey. it's creepy and beautiful out.

The most drag queen of all serpents is the feather boa.

*sips tea* I should be able to hit "translate" on a Canadian or Brit's tweet and have it remove all the superfluous "U"s

I am Flava Flav's arch nemesis, Blandy Bland.

inhaling before I explain my passions

not tonight honey, I’ve got a date with Tylenol PM®

Photo of a sunset behind a row of tall pine trees, the sky streaked with pale yellow, blue, and gray.

Photo of a sunset behind a row of tall pine trees, the sky streaked with deep orange and gray.

Saving the last ounce of daylight. ☀️

I never feel sexier than I do after using my rosemary mint shampoo, walking around smelling like a roast chicken

Painting of a babushka with a crow on her head and holding a bottle of vodka giving the finger. Text says "Happy mutherfucking women's day!"

Art by El Gato Gomez

This candle smells like toast. Uh, oh…

Whole gang clumbering towards an unknown and ominous horizon

The pathologist will never guess that the blunt instrument which knocked me out was a big glob of breaded fried mozzarella rolled in potato cubes and dipped in mango habañero hot sauce. I’m dead now. Happy, but dead. Remember me fondly.