I think tonight with therapy I wanna bring up my abandonment issues, because it’s definitely getting worse.
I’m having a really hard time making close connections with people because I have this feeling that I know at some point I’ll be abandoned by them, so it’s kinda like why bother? 😬
I’m in need of a superb owl for my party!
💙💜
This is just something I’ve noticed.
I do have cons I’m planning to attend and people I’m planning on seeing, hoping it will break this cycle.
I’m becoming more and more reclusive. I don’t reach out to people as much, I don’t really talk about my feelings as much, I’ve been canceling therapy appointments, I don’t really get out as much either.
I feel like I’m rotting away and slowly disappearing, and I’m alright with it.
Thank you. It’s been weird to be blindsided by all of this. I think I deserve to take however long it takes.
I go to the extreme when styling my facial hair. I use a heat gun to lightly warm up the wax, comb it through and make sure everything is set and symmetrical, then I quickly run outside where it’s about 25 degrees to let it firm up in place. 😂💅
The fact that my ex fiancé broke off our relationship mid November and I already have someone telling me to “move on” is wild.
Am I not allowed to grieve at my own pace? I’m so confused and second guessing if I’m doing this right or not? I don’t understand.
A small light brown and white bunny lies stretched out on a light carpet.
The animal crossing update dropped. I’m getting high, ordering out, cuddling the cat, and playing that this evening. 🥰
I thought it was an hour later than it actually is. I just wanna go home and give my cat a hug. 🥺
I’m in the same place and it’s rough. I’m sure your friends who care about you and know you well will be understanding for the space you’ve taken. These sort of things can use a lot of energy and that’s okay. 😊
Slept for almost 11 hours last night. Must’ve been needed.
I’m debating on taking tomorrow off. I’m so exhausted and really need a mental health day or something.
You never need excuses for latex. 😊
Cocktails last night were a success, that’s a plus.
Merry shitmas
Merry Christmas. This Christmas hasn’t felt good. I’m feeling incredibly sad and depressed. It was nice spending it with my parents as much as I did, but it’s just not the same.
I usually like to plan some sort of cocktail for Christmas Eve, but this is the first time I’m officially being put in charge of it and creating an original recipe for it. I’m sure it’ll turn out good, I do this sort of thing somewhat often, but only time will tell.
I got home from work, showered, and immediately napped. I just woke up and am now headed to bed. Pretending to be happy and positive is incredibly exhausting. I’m looking forward to hopefully sleeping my weekend away.
If bed rot was an Olympic sport, I’d be bringing in the gold.
Is my garage a grocery store now? Do I never need to leave my house again? Who’s buying this stuff? What else will I find in my garage?
Last week I needed cat food, I got in my car and was about to head out to the store but I noticed a bag sitting in my garage! That was easy, mission accomplished!
Last night I was needing cat litter, went out the garage and found a fresh bag of litter. Where is this stuff coming from?
Styling your mustache while wearing nothing but a jockstrap and listening to Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide is such a vibe, and I’m totally here for it.
I’m so ready for this year to be over.
It took every ounce of my being to get up and go to work today. I’m so exhausted.
Intimacy and physical affection is my love language and I yearn for it on the daily. I so desperately want to hold and be held, kiss, cuddle, and love physically. The need for it drives me crazy sometimes.
I’m up. I might as well just go to work. :/
In other news I got a new scent this weekend. I’ve had the room spray and candle, but it was time to buy out their fragrance since it’s being discontinued or the formulas being changed.
I try so hard to put a smile on my face and pretend that I’m alright, but I’m absolutely miserable. I do my best to distract myself, but I can only do so much and distracting myself is exhausting. I don’t know how much more I can put up with this before I break even more.
