Harrison

Only took me 37 seconds 😏

The advent of the Gungus has markets quaking this morning... So far it's just hovering over Manhattan, snaking stragglers into the hellmouth with its satanic appendages but traders worry much worse is on the way

My reaction to that information

How am I supposed to explain Daylight Saving Time to my kids?

True independent thinkers don't change their clocks just because everyone else does. I will do my own research and determine what time it is

You know the old saying, "a few bad apples are no big deal and have no significant effects on the rest of the bunch"

In a what now

In a why

I'm war-proofing my budget by using slick speech to con hyper religious yokels in rural Oklahoma out of the mineral rights on their farm land.

Sánchez: “You may have heard that Spain is alone. They’re the same people who said that when we recognized the State of Palestine, and then others followed.

“We are not alone — we are the first. Those who will end up alone are the ones defending the indefensible.”

38% of airline passengers vote to open plane door midflight because that bitch stewardess said not to

clinton's plan to beat trump was to elevate him above the rest of the republican field and then coast to an easy victory. i don't think she was right about that

Harper to the judge: "Your driver's license doesn't list your height and weight at birth. It doesn't list where you used to live. It identifies who you are now."

at roughly oh four hundred hours the president did execute a tactical warfighting decision to tighten a strategic battle rope to ceiling fan alpha and commence a kinetic asphyxiation operation

I will simply drink less crude oil

For sale congressional oversight, never used

This is just to say

I have ignored
the laws
that were passed
by congress

and which
you were probably
hoping
would protect

Forgive me
they were binding
my in-group
and not yours

Looking forward to veterans complaining about social mistreatment after returning home from their war crimes tour.

I am begging for some janky but cheap EV retrofit kits.

Lidded containers, wiping counters, and sealing exterior walls: How millennials are killing off the most productive species in America.

New column from the ants: People are not dumping sugar on their counters and floors and leaving it. That's a problem

We did not cut down cigarette usage in this country by presenting people with statistics and teaching them Bayesian inference. We did it by making smoking cigarettes embarrassing, expensive, and difficult.

Is this good?

On a clear day, Eugene rose and looked around him and, regrettably, saw who he was.

On a clear day, Eugene rose and looked around him and, regrettably, saw who he was.

“Well, it seems that the problem with capitalism is that eventually you may need a socialist to come in, correct previous under-budgeting, account for current service levels as well as expected growth," Mamdani continued, in reference to Eric Adams' deceptive bookkeeping.

2/2

Perfect example of why everyone hates tech people. Perpetually aggrieved self righteous douchebags who cant even take the lightest ribbing of their unwarranted sense of self importance lol

Additionally the eye tracking software has noted several periods in which lack of pupillary dilation suggest you not maintaining high adrenergic tone throughout the workday. You understand that this is quite disappointing.

In your 360 review, you noted that you felt like you were working at full capacity and yet your 24 hour urine cortisol level remains in the normal range while your peers consistently maintain consistently higher values. Would you say that you are committed to our quarterly revenue targets or not?