Apparently the US Mint has retired the penny and stopped producing it after 232 years. I have thoughts on this but unfortunately nobody will be able to pay me appropriately for them.
My wife: Wow, the new pope looks really old for 69.
Me: Yeah, I probably wouldn’t do it.
My wife: Huh?
Me: Oh, his age. Yeah. He does.
My wife: Wait a minute. What do you mean probably!?
The new Pope is reportedly a Cubs fan. I know he’s from Chicago and all but you’d think he’d be a fan of the Cardinals.
How about that? A Deep Dish Pope. Did not see that coming. I thought for sure we’d have a thin and crispy one.
My son is screaming and then stuffing cheese into his open mouth and honestly that’s a 10/10 vibe. No notes.
Every so often I wonder if that bitch ever did end up getting out of Ludacris’s way.
It looks like the US is going to withdraw from the WHO. There's nothing funny about that...unless of course they do it by sending a text that says "New president, WHO dis?"
Just posted the link to my profile on Instagram. Only thing left to do is sit back and let the new follower roll in!
New social media dumpster fire, who dis?
