I appreciate the folks that do Amazon flex deliveries and such very much, but God dang, the package I got smelled so strongly of cigarettes that I had to hold my breath to rip it open and then hurry and throw the bag away. I would HATE to smell that dude's car.
Bought a fancy nice gaming PC from someone local since eBay keeps screwing me over. Got it home and had to contact the guy because I couldn't figure out why nothing was showing up on the screen and the computer beeped an error code. Anyway, I'm just dumb and the computer works fine lol.
With the pain from this literally causing me a migraine, plus the state of shock over my partner's brother finally lifting last night and resulting in me being awake sobbing most of the night, I stayed in bed basically the whole day today. I'm taking meds and going back to sleep now.
I have been developing my first ever stye right on the underside of my right eyelid for most of a week now. I look like someone punched me and it swelled up but didn't bruise, basically. I finally went to an urgent care and was prescribed an ointment today, but the pharmacy was already closed.
I recognize that this is my own thing to work through (and said as much to my partner). I hate feeling like a burden in my own life. And no one is even treating me like I am one, I just personally feel like I am. (My partner assured me I am allowed to be upset about their brother, to be clear here).
I have SUCH a hard time with this. I basically apologized to my partner this morning for being an emotional mess about their brother having cancer because I don't want to center anything on my pain when I'm so new to the family. I don't want to be a burden in this awful circumstance.
There are so many mean things I'd like to wish on people sometimes but honestly, wishing them the life that they deserve, or wishing that life treats them the way they treat other people, is honestly way more effective.
Anyway, keep my partner's brother Andrew in your thoughts/prayers/whatever. He deserves as much good time as he can in this limited time he now has and it has been such an awful last week. The irony that this month is colorectal cancer awareness month is not lost here. Get tested, y'all.
My partner is NOT taking any of this well at all and is absolutely falling apart and that worries me a lot too. They just celebrated 3 years sober recently and this is such a huge trigger. They have their sponsor and support team, but that doesn't guarantee success. They're trying their best though.
I don't even know him super well, I met him once before he got sick recently, but my partner has told me so many family stories that I feel like I know him better, you know? And he's such a cool dude. Even while being in hella pain yesterday he still wanted to talk with me about my online schooling.
My partner's brother was unexpectedly hospitalized again yesterday due to out of control pain. A CT scan shows his gallbladder may be playing a part, but it may be other things. He was supposed to start chemo Monday but now it's being pushed back to Wednesday. Visiting him yesterday was so hard.
Today is the first warm day in a bit, so I'm just standing outside, enjoying the weather... and the sounds of neighbors fighting. Ahh STL.
I'm so behind on school work, though luckily the teacher is understanding after explaining why I've had such a terrible week. I had to record a PowerPoint presentation and good lord I sounded half asleep and just absolutely out of any F's to give, which I am. I turned it in, I don't care.
My partner has theirs scheduled for Thursday morning at 6am and I'll be driving them there. Obviously I am very nervous but it is more important now than ever before. I'll be scheduling mine as soon as I'm able to as well.
It's worth noting that my partner's brother was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer literally the day before the official awareness month for it began. Don't wait until 45 to be screened, please. James Van Der Beek had stage 3 at 46 and my partner's brother has stage 4 at only 43. Go sooner.
I'm gonna try to sleep a bit though, especially since I have a work meeting in the morning. One step at a time. This just isn't something anyone can truly prepare for.
I'm behind on a big school assignment, though my professor is aware of what is going on and will likely give an extension. I worked on it for a few hours tonight but there's still so much left and I just do not have the mental energy to continue. I've barely been sleeping.
Partner's brother is having his pet scan tomorrow. I dunno if the results will be known tomorrow or if it'll take a couple days or whatever, but we're all prepared for tomorrow to potentially be very bad, depending on the results, though obviously we're hoping for the best. We are all so exhausted.
Partner and I both barely got sleep last night after such a mentally and emotionally exhausting weekend. We spent a couple hours yesterday with their family and it's obvious their brother is in pain but is also generally in okay spirits despite all of this sudden bad news. This is a lot.
I feel so inadequate despite knowing firsthand how a family member's cancer diagnosis goes since I lost my own mom to it.
My partner got the news that their younger brother has stage 4 colon cancer this morning. It was a very out of the blue thing. A week ago they found out their stepdad has stage 3 prostate cancer. Last Sunday was the 8th anniversary of their mom's passing from lung cancer. Everything feels so heavy.
I have a big school assignment due Sunday and it's so unnecessarily complicated that just thinking about everything I have to do has made me angry and agitated to the point that I can't even start it because I'm in such a bad mood. Uggghhh. Guess I'll be wasting my weekend on it.
2 front windows of a red brick house, the first has a cat painted with a pink flower around its face and a green garden in the background with clouds. The second window has a cat with bunny ears painted with a similar green garden background with flowers and clouds. Both cats are grey with white stripes.
A person who advertised in a local queer Facebook group about window painting came by back in December and painted them a Christmas theme with cats, so I contacted her again recently about doing a spring/Easter theme and she did it today. I love it lol.
Yeah, I also just took my ADHD meds so I can force myself to do my already late school work, I'm sure it'll be great and not a problem at all!!
I had a latte this morning and now I'm drinking coffee. It'll be fiiiiiine.
I believe I used to use their blonde shampoo back in the day! I got this stuff from Sally's yesterday, it was my first time seeing it but the worker said it was good.
Yeah, it's a color depositing conditioner so I figured it would take a few times before it showed up much. I have medium-blonde hair naturally so color usually sticks but not always. I figure I'll give it a couple days and do it a second time and see how it goes!
The Uglies is my fav series but PHM is my favorite book. It was a life changing read for me a few years back. Absolutely stunningly beautiful and emotional (listen to the audiobook, that's where the wonder is). The Martian movie was pretty good, so hopefully PHM will also be good? 😬
Now I am very curious how they'll replace Peris in further movies since they completely changed his role (which was my only real complaint) but I'm sure they'll figure it out. Speaking of book movies though, now I'm hella nervous about Project Hail Mary. Will it be even slightly as epic as the book?
Oh, I FINALLY watched the Uglies movie on Netflix recently. I put it off for so long because it is my all time favorite book series and I was so worried it would get The Host treatment and be terrible as a movie. I actually rather enjoyed it. It followed the book decently well, surprisingly.
