cari

Beautiful tricolor Australian shepherd standing on some concrete steps in front of a white door and a brick wall

The springtime boy is back baby

Leon Gómez 1 review 8 months ago this is our first time I went this location! so the handsome guy was on counter I don't know he's owner or manager but that guy working on point! the way he handled... more Krauszer's Food Store (Owner) 8 months ago Hhjjuhgg

Handsome man feeding a baby

Happy (belated) birthday @shanesheehy.bsky.social every day I'm thankful I spent too much time on twitter in 2019 and now I get to call you my family

My sister rescued a new pom. He's inbred and his name is Sandwich

I'm addicted to going to the hospital and being ignored by nurses who are scrolling TikTok on their phones

What did I do now

Blue eyed tricolor Australian shepherd sitting on a white chart with a gray and black line print on it in front of a bookshelf

The same dog in the same chair in front of a slightly different bookshelf

Rollo on his first birthday and his seventh birthday 🥹

Cari just asked "I wonder if they make a children's book version of the Lord of The Rings" and I said "Yeah it's called The Hobbit".

Instant slam dunk. Wife: defeated. Baby: educated. Dog: bamboozled.

Groceries (inbox) Due today Due Mar 4 - Prepare essay answers ready Shane requested Cari write a minimum five-paragraph essay answering questions about the Final Destination movie concepts by the time Shane wakes up.

Shane and I have been taking shifts with the baby, he sent me a playful email while I was sleeping and this is how the AI that is going to replace doctors interpreted it

He wakes up every time we do for the baby so he's extremely sleepy lol

Beautiful blue eyed tricolor Australian shepherd looking dependent on a grey comforter

Does anyone even care that it's his birthday?

this is really dangerous because the baby might grow wings

Sometimes I look at my baby and get really sad thinking about how it'll be years before she can even try sugar free red bull

Nobody even cares how many ounces of food I eat at each feeding

“I will be too tired. I am going back to bed.”

Toad went back into the house.

Ian Miles Cheong (second from left) and other paid influencers in Dubai.

oh my god this photo of ian miles tails cheong hanging out with his fellow paid to live in dubai social influencers i am DYING. smeagol glow up era.

Wow I had no idea it was this easy!

sick of wasteful meetings where we discuss "should we bomb a school?"

Don't you just hate it when you're about to hit the big "kill" button and your brain interrupts the mechanical kinetic motion of your body to ask "hold on who am I killing" or "which side am I on again" or "gee is this the sort of person I am". Well fellas have we got the product for you

Historically, the problem with weapons of war is all of the thinking involved. Pesky thoughts constantly getting in the way. Thank god they've finally sorted that one out

The future sucks!!!

I don't think I've ever interacted with a worse app than the Aetna app. While I was in the hospital they somehow sent an approval letter to the account I had under my ex's insurance. We have been divorced for seven years and I have been remarried and on different insurance for four years.

I love that all the stuff that is most likely to ruin your life if your access to it is disrupted is managed through apps made by the most contemptible people on earth

Some samples of what I've been working on

I heard these sounds from upstairs and thought you were having fun without me and I was seething

Panel from The Enigma of Amigara Fault by Junji Ito where a guy is saying "This is my hole! It was made for me!" before throwing himself into a human-shaped hole in the side of a mountain

Sometime between being in and out of the hospital a small rip developed in the sheets on my side of the bed and the hole just kept getting bigger and bigger while I kept putting off changing the sheets and then we finally changed them today and when I got in bed I found myself looking for the hole

The Haters: You have no friends. No one like you, you have no friends

Me, genius: I do have friends

The Haters: Oh yeah, who are you friends?

Me, wealthily:

I've been practicing laughing in case something funny happens. I'm stressed out I won't be ready for it

Got a call today. From Shoe Magazine. They want to give me a pair of new shoes. Apparently someone called in to say they saw how many holes were in the old shoes so now they want to give me new ones. Will the new ones fit I asked. They said no they won't actually fit. And they're not free any more