Sow Ay

Illustration of a ghost sheltering stars under an umbrella as it's raining

#illustration

a drawing of a cute cat making a statement about ai (it sucks)

oops it's her again

My psychiatrist was super happy to tell me she'd be trained about autism on monday. "I can't wait !"
I'm really lucky I found a cool one ! She also had the Song Of Achilles on her bookshelf, that made me smile.

Picture of a dog comfortable laying in his bed

Busy weekend

Illustration of a ghost in front of a bakery with a baguette in their hand. On the Bakery is written BOOLANGERIE (a Boulangerie is a French bakery)

Boolangerie

4 panel comic, a mole wanderer asks the brush bearer why did he choose this path, the brush bearer answers that it's his only way of connecting to others

i should rename this comic

Things were going well, my colleagues were cool and happy with my work. I didn't understand what was wrong. I didn't tell my parents I'd turned down the permanent contract because I would have been seen as lazy again.

What was I going to do with my life if I couldn't keep a job like that? How can you get by when you can't earn a living?

I didn't know that if things weren't going well, it was because I was autistic. I would only find out 8 years later, after many years of struggling, seeing myself as a pathetic piece of shit.

I've had quite a few different jobs. In all of them, my colleagues appreciated my work, but I always refused extensions. I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't understand why, and I thought it was because I was worthless, as society told me.

4/4

When I got home in the evening, I collapsed and was filled with anxiety about not being able to cope. My brain couldn't switch off from work.

The accumulation of stress was also impacting my physical health: I was often nauseous, and my sleep was even worse than usual.

I was constantly tired and wondered how my colleagues couldn't see it. And how they managed to survive 30 years at the company when I couldn't even last 6 months.

My longest temporary contract, lasting 10 months, felt endless. I refused to convert it to a permanent position; I couldn't continue. At the end of the contract, I had a major breakdown. I couldn't leave my house for months and ended up on sick leave for over a year.

3/4

If there were people in the cafeteria when I went there, I would turn around and end up in the toilets, the only place where I felt at peace. "Finally some calm"

I was much more efficient and in a much better mental state on the days I worked alone in the department. My productivity improved significantly.

I was much more efficient and in a much better mental state on the days I worked alone in the department. My productivity improved significantly.

I preferred to finish late and wait for email confirmation rather than phone to get it in a minute. "Aren't you leaving?" (a colleague) "Uh... I have to finish something."

2/4

Autism and Work by Sow Ay

I worked for almost two years in a newspaper through various temporary replacements. I didn't know I was autistic yet, I was far from suspecting it, but there were signs.

I arrived early to not run into anyone in the corridors.

I was much more at ease being in the most hidden spot with my headphones on my ears (even without sound).

The struggles of working when you're autistic. It's important to note that not all autistic people face the same difficulties!
It's been 10 years since I stopped working there. Everything was going well. But it was already too much for my brain. 😵
1/4

Page from a sketchbook with 2 sketches. We see a little ghost and a skeleton behind a booth selling pumpkin soup. On the right, the ghost is flying for a soup delivery while screaming "SOOOOP"

Sketches from these 2 days at the hospital. #illustration

Back from the hospital. I spent 2 nights there to analyse my sleep and to hopefully discover why I sleep so badly. 🤞

Illustration in 2 panels : 1 : "Depression" : a character is depressed and haunted by a dark ghost 2 : "Depression in october" : the same haunted character but with a few halloween elements : a bat bow, a witch hat, a spider and a cape. Someone tells them "woah, you look so cool !"

Time to share this one again !

A comic strip: A guy and his dog are walking down the street and someone calls out to them "hello." "When someone stops me to talk, Sully complains." The dog cries "Yes, we're going Sully!" The character walks away and says to his dog, "Thanks, I never know how to run away."

My savior !

Picture of a sketchbook with pens around. We can see an illustration of a happy kid with a star flying just above his head.

At our art shop today so I brought my sketchbook and pens ! Really want to do more traditional !
#illustration #kidlitart

Screenshot of the reason I wrote for cancelling my subscription, it says "FUCK TRUMP !"

Also canceled my Disney+

Illustration of a ghost very happy with autumn elements around them : leaves, a pumpkin, small mushrooms

A little ghost, happy autumn is back !
#illustration

Picture of me on my couch, drawing on an iPad (I'm drawing a skeleton saying hi). Behind, my dog is sleeping on his back.

After a day at the shop, I always need a quiet day.

it's almost their season

🎃📼📺

A Webcomic.. Panel 1 : "Sully is a reactive dog" We see Sully barking on a person who tries to touch him Panel 2 : And in people's minds: reactive dog = mean dog Sully growls at a man who surprises him "it's ok, it's the neighbor" Panel 3 : "When in reality, it is because he is very sensitive and will show his discomfort by reacting more strongly to stimulations" Sully barks at a person rollerskating Panel 4 : "He often reminds me of myself, who is autistic and also much more sensitive to sensory stimulation. Except that dogs don't mask their symptoms like humans do to be accepted." Sully runs away from a big noise that scared him _ Easy Sully, it's not a big deal.

Living with a reactive dog

Beginning Autism tests (a webcomic) After my ADHD tests, I asked the neuropsychologist if she could help me with autism. We did some tests.

I arrived at the next session full of hope, then I heard a sentence that completely destroyed me. "For me, you are as autistic as I am."

All my struggles, burnouts, years of work leave, my inability to hold down a job, social fatigue, feeling disconnected from everyone, sleep disturbances, feeling like everything is always too much... All that, swept away in one sentence. Finding specialists when you're autistic is incredibly hard. I often feel like everything is done to make you give up. When you're alone and can't work or get a diagnosis, everyday life is hell. "I'll never get out of this. I might as well die, right? That's what society seems to want."

Today marks two years since I received confirmation. But it started off very badly and took years...

But he's super cool so seeing him being nice to the nurses and everyone and talking music and stuff helped 🙏 he already went to one of my art shows

And it's done !! It was super disturbing to see the surgeon do everything as it was not a general anaesthetic 😱

Cheers 🙏🙏

patrick star and spongebob squarepants are standing next to each other in a dark room . Alt: patrick star and spongebob squarepants are running in circles in a room and panicking

On the way to get my top surgery revision

Some illustrated goodies for a shop update : _ a sticker of a happy ghost with a plant _ a sticker of a tired dinosaur _ a non binary and trans game boy (the word ̶b̶o̶y̶ is crossed) _ an illustration of a wolf in a mysterious and foggy forest

Shop update : soway.bigcartel.com
#illustration #shopupdate

It took me years before I dared to ask my surgeon for a revision _ It would be for an appointment with Dr. P. (on the phone)

Besides my problems with calls, social, and the like, I was afraid of his reaction. That he would tell me to be content with what I had and respond with condescension, as it happened to me several times during my medical wandering.

But not at all! _ I just need to check if your skin is suitable. I have an appointment available in September.

I'm so relieved! All these years of fearing this.

It's this week 😱
#transgender #ftm

Pictures of 3 Illustrations prints : on the first one we can see a rock band of ghosts, on the second a character and a big star in ak origami boat and plenty of stars around them and on the last last one the ghosts are disguised for Halloween to get treats in their ghost city

Prints of my Nobodies for a shop order !