The Flying Spaghetti Monster's Avatar

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

@almightynoodle1

I've just spent six hundred billion nanoseconds bathing in a one-percent saline solution at 100 degrees Celsius, so I'm good to go.

706
Followers
511
Following
2,931
Posts
10.11.2024
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by The Flying Spaghetti Monster @almightynoodle1

It's the narcissist version of The Secret. You basically state how you want the world to be, and then wait for people to scramble to make it reality for you. It doesn't always work, but it works way more often than you would think.

11.03.2026 03:11 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I think they reached out to him in hopes of getting a juicy comment for the article, and he chose his words carefully when he told them to go fuck themselves.

10.03.2026 20:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Am I alone in thinking these are in the wrong order?

It would work better if reverse the decision and convince the followers switched positions.

09.03.2026 23:02 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The only thing strong about Trump is the odor.

08.03.2026 22:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'm really getting impatient for the "shooting himself in a bunker" phase of his hero's journey.

08.03.2026 21:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

This clip brought me so much joy. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

07.03.2026 21:40 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I read this to be someone pining for the days when he could hang out near a kids playground taking photos without someone calling him a "pervert" and threatening to "call the cops".

07.03.2026 21:31 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I don't know whether to believe people who confidently say he couldn't have stolen the election.

All I know is that Trump has an extremely clear tell, and whether he did or didn't, it's obvious to me that HE believes he did.

07.03.2026 20:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Apparently the Newsmax guy doesn't like getting lied to. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

06.03.2026 20:12 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

There are definitely some people that humanity can afford to lose.

06.03.2026 11:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

But then, I repeat myself...

06.03.2026 11:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Those has been the case for more than a decade now.

06.03.2026 04:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

What you want is a drill-bit. That corkscrew action brings out all the gunk.
#DefinitelyNotMedicalAdvice

06.03.2026 04:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's for SCIENCE!

06.03.2026 03:30 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To definitively tell which is the best Ryan, you have to do a double blind taste test.

06.03.2026 03:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's supposed to be a romantic sonnet, but that second line basically means "you're nicer, but not as hot".

06.03.2026 01:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You don't sit on a pirate's shoulder for years without learning a thing or two.

05.03.2026 12:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 17 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

How on earth did you get ethics approval for such an unbelievably dangerous study?

05.03.2026 11:33 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Looks to me like he was exercising his first amendment rights.

05.03.2026 09:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Man deserves a Purple Heart.

05.03.2026 09:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Apparently the US has NOT learned because they've been doing this shit for more than 50 years now.

05.03.2026 06:03 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

They may have *tried* to assassinate him, but I think we can all agree it's unfortunate that it never happened.

04.03.2026 22:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Fuck that fucking motherfucker's feelings.

04.03.2026 22:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I was going to say the Church, but then I realised that you already mentioned pedophiles.

04.03.2026 21:22 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To not be the weakest cabinet member is such an incredibly low bar.

04.03.2026 21:19 ๐Ÿ‘ 8 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

That is very on-brand.

04.03.2026 19:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

She is such a fucking halfwit.

04.03.2026 18:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Yeah, people laugh when you do idiotic things at the party, but they usually stop laughing when you lie down on the floor and start shitting yourself.

04.03.2026 11:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

If has to be projection, because no one with more than half a brain could observe AOC and think for a second that she was not highly intelligent.

04.03.2026 10:51 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Although the ridiculous number of people who would always pick a white dude over a black woman should also look in the mirror.

04.03.2026 07:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0