keyair

Ironclad
Silent
Watcher
Defect

Don’t bully me I’ll cum

I’m bad with my hands which is a problem that extends through all my platonic and romantic relationships

I want to be hit by a car. I think it would feel good

There’s an ig account I follow that does cartoons about cute penguin couple, the kind of airy fluff you smile at then scroll past. Yesterday they started an arc about one penguin going missing, standard light drama, and the comments are full of apoleptic people, furious that the vibe is ruined.

I fucking podiumed

Flight attendant gently shakes me awake. She points to the chair-back TV, which is showing an insurance commercial featuring the guy from Modern Family. “We would prefer you watch this,” she smiles.

3RD IN AUDIO OUT OF 1431 ENTRIES WOOOO

Reminder that tomorrow we “leap” forward into the Eternal Night. Remember to save some daylight in your pantry to sustain you.

Freestyle rap heard on 36th street:

My problem is, I can’t have just one chick
[lengthy pause]

TWOOOOOOO

I tried to dirty talk with my girlfriend and told her i wanted to incinerate her

i promised myself i'd beat the heart in slay the spire 1 with all characters before i'd touch slay the spire 2. chat i have defect and watcher left and i'm so bad at the game please help

We used to at least pretend we were bringing democracy to the Middle East

wish granted: they are now saying 6 7.

kobolds who heard the "dragon deez nuts" joke for the first time and will not stop repeating it

The portrait he keeps in his attic fails to contain his rot

My bus with a shitty suspension is ferrying me on cracked roads to my job at the email factory. My country is bombing brown children and our one prize will be the second of many 9/11’s. My girlfriend returned to California this morning and I won’t see her until May. We forgot to take pictures.

Photo of a woman wearing a shoulder brace. Caption: Shoulder Pain is Not From Sleeping Wrong. Meet The Real Enemy

I will destroy her

Supporting Israel is like their one sincerely held value

Whichever guy first called us the great satan was honestly cooking

wow amazing that america has already collected almost enough 9/11 Points to earn another 9/11

a victorian-era coal mine would kill a modern child

Friends (crossed out) Iced Tea with Benefits

Finally an Iced Tea that implicitly invites me into a sexual relationship

this is like that bit in Disco Elysium where you can die from talking to Cuno

A duckling stuffed in a gachapon machine with other ducklings. This duckling is wearing a bottle cap and frog ears. A nun with heart-shaped glasses looks on.

Aw it’s duck quest duck

cool track, are the vocals omnisphere or something else?

have a good rest!